• Death

All The Disturbing Things Your Family Will Have To Do For You When You Die

Face it, death is coming for us all and the only thing we can do about it is plan ahead. Even after you breathe your last breath, the horrendous monotony of life continues to churn on and the things your family has to do when you die start to pile up. If no one in your family has ever passed away then you don’t know all of the surreal minutiae that goes into saying your final goodbyes to someone. 

If there’s one thing to be gleaned from this list it’s that you should start working out an arrangement of what you want done when you die. If you don’t have a will, or at least some instructions in place, then all the things your family does when you die are going to be made even more hectic by the haze of confusion that surrounds every form of death. It goes without saying that you can’t think of everything that’s going to come up after your death, but you should at least try to hit the important stuff. To find out what constitutes “important stuff” keep reading and try not to think about death standing over your shoulder. 

  • Sit With Your Body Until Someone Can Take It Away

    Photo: Jo Naylor / flickr / CC-BY 2.0

    If a member of your family is unlucky enough to find your body then they'll have to hang out with your corpse until it can be taken away by the proper authorities. Hopefully your death won't be unexpected, and the people who discover your body will be medically capable of handling your dead body. But if you die from an aneurysm or something (which could happen), then whomever finds you is stuck with you until more capable people arrive. Sorry. 

  • Choose Clothes For You To Wear At Your Funeral

    Photo: Elvert Barnes / flickr / CC-BY 2.0

    Choosing clothes for the deceased to wear sounds so confusing. A loved one is going to have to go through your closet, decide what you might have liked to wear, and then give it to someone to dress you in - that's kinda weird. It turns out that burial companies are pretty cool with letting you wear whatever you want. According to Everplans: "Feel free to dress the person in any outfits they might have loved, such as a favorite pair of jeans, a lucky hat, or a beloved piece of jewelry." The bright side is your family isn't responsible for physically dressing you. 

  • Tell The Post Office That You're Dead

    Photo: Herbie in the Hills / flickr / CC-BY-NC 2.0

    It turns out that managing mail for the deceased is pretty easy, at least physically. The USPS makes it a cinch to cut off mail for someone who's passed away, although it can be incredibly depressing to know that your loved one will never be getting mail again. Or, even more depressing is having mail forwarded to their house that you'd be embarrassed for them to see. 

  • Write Your Obituary To Announce To The World That You're Dead

    Photo: tmat1075 / flickr / CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0

    If you've ever had a death in your family then you know the work that goes into writing an obituary and a eulogy. So much talking about the deceased goes on that it starts to feel like they haven't passed away, and it can be hard to come to grips with the death of a loved one, and going on and on about them can be depressing. As morbid as it can be to write about your deceased loved one, it can also be cathartic to work out your feelings. According to an anonymous obit writer from Montreal, the most important part about writing an obituary is spellcheck: "If a grieving family notices a typo in the obit they placed, all hell will break lose. You can offer to run it again for free, but they won’t be happy until they insult and/or threaten you.