Weird History
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What Historic Military Leader Would You Be Based On Your Zodiac?

Updated January 7, 2020 16.4k views12 items

We do not live in a time of clashing armies and grand military strategies. These days, generals use sophisticated technology, devastating armaments, and remotely piloted drones to wage complicated guerilla warfare, and any commander who lined up his troops to meet the enemy on the battlefield would quickly find himself on the receiving end of a tactical missile.

While even the soldiers among us may not be planning troop formations, we can all see ourselves reflected in the great military minds of the past. Their virtues and their vices ought to be instantly recognizable to us. We all know someone as brave as Alexander the Great when they stand up for what they believe in, or someone as cunning as Julius Caesar when they navigate their office politics, and we probably have an in-law or two with the savagery of Attila the Hun.

  • Photo: Mór Than / Wikimedia Commons / Public Domain

    Attila the Hun, the barbarian warlord, was such a plague to the Roman Empire that he was also called "the scourge of God." He was ruthless in pursuing his goals, going so far as to slay his brother to secure power before crippling the Roman Empire. Under Attila, the Huns became terrifying bogeymen, crazed warriors who were said to eat half-raw meat and show no mercy on the battlefield.

    While the average Aries might not need to waste their family members in order to achieve their goals, they do tend to be restless and impetuous. After all, Aries is closely associated with Mars, the red planet named after the god of war.

  • Photo: Sebastien Slodtz / Wikimedia Commons / Public Domain

    The great Carthaginian general Hannibal Barca is primarily known for crossing the Alps on elephants, but his military genius was not limited to over-the-top stunts. In fact, he was often a patient and reliable commander, deeply loved by his men and aware of the importance of diplomacy as a tool of conflict. Perhaps his greatest moment came during the clash of Cannae, when his Carthaginian force encircled and destroyed a larger Roman army on the Italian coast. 

    Like a Taurus, Hannibal was stubborn and intractable (he had to be - it's not easy to get elephants to march through freezing mountains). He pushed relentlessly towards his objectives, and it could be difficult for him to recognize a lost cause. During his march through Italy, he failed to receive much-needed reinforcements from his country, and the Romans eventually whittled down his forces until they were little more than a guerilla band.

  • Photo: Unknown / Wikimedia Commons / Public Domain

    While William the Conqueror was a gifted field strategist and no slouch with a sword, his real gifts were in diplomacy and his understanding of large-scale politics. For example, the famous Norman incursion of England was timed to come on the heels of a Norwegian incursion, just weeks earlier, which badly weakened the English. This incursion was the result of a clever (and unfounded) claim that William was the rightful king. William even managed to secure a papal blessing for his conquest.

    All of this is classic Gemini. Those born under the sign of the Twins are known for being quick-witted, highly verbal, and mercurial. Geminis are also known for being quick enough to act on opportunity, whether that takes the form of invading England or, say, a cool internship.

  • Photo: Myrabella / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 4.0

    Not much is known about the Celtic warrior called Vercingetorix, not even his real name (Vercingetorix means "victor of a thousand battles"). What we do know is that after Julius Caesar conquered Gaul, Vercingetorix joined many Gallic chieftains in rebellion.

    He was distinguished for his brilliant guerilla tactics and his relentless tenacity. However, his real goal was helping his native people, not winning the conflict, so when he was trapped in a desperate siege, he gave himself up to end the siege and save his people (although some records claim that he was given up by the other chiefs in his army).

    Tenacity and loyalty are key words for Cancers. People born under the sign of the Crab can be moody and intuitive, but these moods never get in the way of a fierce determination to help their loved ones. Like Vercingetorix, they're not afraid to sacrifice everything.