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The Best Farmer Jokes

Updated February 6, 2019 368 votes 74 voters 1.8k views25 items

List RulesVote up the farming jokes that are sure to sprout a laugh.

Farmers play an important role in everyday life, making sure all of us has delicious fruits and vegetables waiting for us at the grocery store. They also have an awesome sense of humor if these funny farmer jokes are any indication.

Hopefully, these jokes won't be too corny for you. There is a true surplus of silly farm jokes here for you to enjoy that are sure to produce a smile.  Every aspect of farming is covered here. Whether you are ready to laugh about riding a tractor or herding livestock, there is bound to be something here that will tickle your funny bone. Naturally, no list about farming would be complete without a few zingers about farm animals. Pigs, chickens, horses, and sheep may be cute, but they can also inspire good, old-fashioned, clean jokes for farmers. 

Some of these jokes may just mooooo-ve you to tears. Once you are done reading them, gather up all your buddies from 4-H, and you will become the funniest person at the next barn raising. Make sure to vote on which jokes were your favorites, so other farmers know what to tell the horses next time to get them neighing with laughter. 

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  • 1
    30
    22

    What Did the Farmer Get When He Crossed an Owl With a Goat?

    A Hoo-tinanny!

  • 2
    20
    13

    What Is a Happy Farmer's Favorite Candy?

    A Jolly Rancher!

  • 3
    16
    10

    Why Shouldn't You Tell a Secret on a Farm?

    Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes!

  • 4
    10
    5

    How Did the Farmer Find His Lost Cow?

    He tractor down.

  • 5
    10
    8

    Grain Farmers Have a Tough Life...

    They barley survive from wheat to wheat.

  • 6
    7
    4

    What Is a Scarecrow's Favorite Fruit?

    Straw-berries.

  • 7
    7
    5

    Where Do Farmers Get Their Medicine From?

    At the farm-acist!

  • 8
    12
    13

    What Do You Get When You Cross a Farmer With Some Trendy Headphones?

    Beets by Dre.

  • 9
    10
    10

    Why Do Cows Like Being Told Farmer Jokes?

    They like being amoosed.

  • 10
    10
    10

    Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon?

    The farmer had cold hands.

  • 11
    7
    7

    Why Did the Pig Take a Bath?

    Because the farmer said, "Hogwash!"

  • 12
    7
    7

    Where Do Farmers Send Their Kids to Grow?

    Kinder-garden.

  • 13
    7
    0

    I Tried to Navigate the Farmer's Field...

    But it was a maize.

  • 14
    7
    8

    Why Did the Scarecrow Win a Nobel Prize?

    He was out standing in his field.

  • 15
    5
    4

    What New Crop Did the Farmer Plant?

    Beets me!

  • 16
    5
    0

    Did You Hear About the Farmer Who Ploughed His Field With a Steamroller?

    He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

  • 17
    5
    2

    Why Did the Farmer Call His Pig "Ink?"

    Because it was always running out of the pen.

  • 18
    5
    2

    What Type of Horses Only Go Out at Night?

    Night-mares.

  • 19
    2
    0

    As a Farmer, I've Heard a Lot of Jokes About Sheep...

    I would tell them to my dog, but he's herd them all. 

  • 20
    2
    0

    What Happened When the Farmer Crossed a Chili Pepper, a Shovel, and a Dog?

    He got a hot-diggity-dog.

  • 21
    5
    5

    Why Can't the Bankrupt Farmer Complain?

    Because he's got no beef.

  • 22
    2
    4

    What Did the Farmer Say When His Fat Pig Wouldn't Fit Inside the Pen?

    "There's more there than meets the sty."

  • 23
    7
    10

    What Do Farmers Talk About When They Milk the Cows?

    Udder nonsense!

  • 24
    0
    2

    Why Are Farmers Cruel?

    They pull corn by the ears.

  • 25
    6
    13

    What Do Farmers Use to Make Crop Circles?

    A pro-tractor.