The most ridiculous problems in the Fast and Furious movies can be traced to the franchise’s insatiable thirst to perpetually one-up itself in every way imaginable. The globalization and commercialization of Hollywood’s major studios has fostered an environment that allows for massive financial resources to be dumped into making sure a sequel makes more money than its predecessor. And hey, who can really blame that logic? Who doesn’t want to make more money this year than you did last year? Unfortunately, no one bothers applying such logic to the actual films, hence this list of Fast and Furious logic fails.
“Trilogy” has a nice ring to it. For filmmakers, it’s the seemingly perfect entity to fully develop and execute a rich, thought-provoking dramatic arc or construct a complex mythology. But when a string of loosely connected movies goes far beyond that structure, you’re left with what could be nicely called a hot mess, such as the dumb decisions and library of things that make no sense in the Fast and Furious series.
Creative liberties aside, the list below contains some of the most fascinating Fast and Furious plot holes, character inconsistencies, illogical decisions, and just straight up ridiculous things throughout the franchise.
A Yakuza Boss Takes Input from an American TeenagerPhoto: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift / Universal Pictures
Yakuza is a flexible term used to reference members of one of several Japanese crime families that came to prominence after WWII. Those gangs try to mask their origins behind legitimate businesses, but they are largely still involved in serious, criminal activities ranging from extortion to drug trafficking and prostitution. Some members apologize to their leaders by amputating their own fingers.
You have to wonder why, in Tokyo Drift, Sean Boswell is able to waltz into a private club and directly approach a yakuza boss, in order to apologize for causing business losses, and explain that he plans to make up for it by racing the boss’s screw-up nephew, DK. After all, what better way to catapult a yakuza crime family into the 21st century than to let an American kid in high school tell you how to run your business?
There's also that scene in Tokyo Drift where Sean gets thrown around by a fat dude in a bathhouse.
How Does Cipher Get On And Off Of Her Plane HQ?Photo: The Fate Of The Furious / Universal Pictures
In The Fate of the Furious, the villain Cipher lives on a 787 with two giant satellite dishes that constantly circles the globe, undetected by any and all government agencies. She seems to get off and on the plane at will, but there's no footage of the plane docked at an airstrip, and there's no scene where she takes a small plane out of the big plane to get to her earthly destinations. Although, at one point the plane does touch the ground for about 10 seconds so Dom can drive into it. Other than that, it's in the air the entire time. Who is refueling this plane mid-flight? And when does it get the constant upkeep that a plane needs to stay in the air? How do they get food on there? The fans of the Furious need answers.
The Laws of Physics Have No Place HerePhoto: 2 Fast 2 Furious / Universal Pictures
In the Caucasus Mountain sequence in Furious 7, Dom out-maneuvers Deckard Shaw and Shaw’s vehicle goes tumbling down the mountainside. He quickly jumps out, sprints a few hundred yards at high elevation, and assembles his rifle just in time to get Dom’s car in his sights. Miraculously, Shaw is aiming downward at Dom’s car, even though he just tumbled down the near-vertical mountainside.
In Fast 6, the C-5 Galaxy airplane at the end barrels down a runway for longer than 12 minutes at takeoff speed, which would require a runway more than 20 miles long. In Tokyo Drift, Clay throws a baseball at Sean Boswell’s car hard enough for glass to shatter into the driver seat, but the baseball rolls off the trunk and onto the pavement, rather than going through the windshield. And yet, in 2 Fast, Brian and Roman can’t even capsize Carter Verone’s yacht by launching a 1969 Chevrolet Camaro at it going 120 mph! Losers.
There's Good, and There's Ludacris GoodPhoto: 2 Fast 2 Furious / Universal Pictures
Tej has worn many hats over the years. We first got to know him in Miami, where he spent his days organizing and taking bets on jet ski races by day and illegal street races by night. He even had Jimmy at his garage to help customize electrical systems on cars. Eight years later, in Fast Five, Tej was born again, capable of hacking practically anyone and anything, customizing car builds, and even cracking an industrial safe fit for a bank.
By Furious 7, Tej was unstoppable. Not only did his hacking skills increase exponentially, so did his mechanical engineering prowess. The day before Dom, Tej, and the gang head to the Caucasus Mountains at the behest of Mr. Nobody, Tej completely deconstructed two existing vehicles and built an entirely new car Dom desperately needed for the mission. He also had just enough time to outfit the other cars with parachute rigs synchronized with GPS that perfectly integrated to their needs. That one-night timeline would’ve been impossible for a lesser man, but not for Tej.