*Warning: Spoilers ahead.*
Dear readers, what is happening in Fate of the Furious? How did a movie that once followed street racers as they outsmarted the LAPD become one of the most logic-defying films of all time? The convoluted plot devices in Fate of the Furious range from the plausible (grappling hooks embedded inside fancy cars) to the truly farfetched (Charlize Theron’s magic plane), and the film’s producers simply expect the audience to watch the film and not ask any questions. It’s possible the filmmakers didn’t care about all of the Fate of the Furious plot holes because they didn’t expect anyone to leave the theater without a fully-melted brain.
No one really cares about the Fast and the Furious plots, do they? At no point has anyone who truly loved these movies ever batted an eye at Vin Diesel pulling a bank vault out of a wall with a mid-2000's Chevy, or cared about whether Dwayne Johnson can actually take a bunch of rubber bullets to the chest and be totally fine. But the plot holes on this list are far too big to ignore.
So Cipher Lives On A Plane That Never Lands?
In the film, Theron's character, Cipher, lives on a 747 with two giant satellite dishes that constantly circles the globe, undetected by any and all government agencies. She seems to get off and on the plane at will, but there's no footage of the plane docked at an airstrip, and there's no scene where she takes a small plane out of the big plane to get to her earthly destinations. Although, at one point the plane does touch the ground for about 10 seconds so Diesel can drive into it. Other than that, it's in the air the entire time. Who is refueling this plane mid-flight? And when does it get the constant upkeep that a plane needs to stay in the air? How do they get food on there? The fans of the Furious need answers.
Speaking of which - how did they get Dom's baby and ex-girlfriend on board? At one point Jason Statham's character Ian and Luke Evans's character Owen get onto the plane by using jet packs, and Dom drives onto the plane via the cargo hatch, so either Cipher brought the baby on board in a tiny jet pack, or the plane touched the ground long enough for goons to pop on board with a full-grown woman and baby in tow. Or, and this might actually be how it happened, Cipher brought Dom's baby mama Elena on board the plane while she was pregnant and then she gave birth to the baby. Woof, what a mess.
Can You Actually Make A Car Drive Faster With A Coca Cola Can?
At the beginning of the film, Dom has to race some guy for his family honor and cherry Impala. But rather than race a quarter mile they're going to race a "Cuban mile" (which is presumably a normal mile but in Cuba.) To do so, Dom has to rig a Coca Cola tab to his engine so it can go faster. Is that for real? Obviously it's not a permanent fix because Dom ends up blowing up the engine and using the blast to propel him over the finish line as he drives in reverse, but it's still worth figuring out if that's a thing you can even do in case you want to win any upcoming soapbox derbies.
How Do You Fashion A Harpoon Gun To A Car?
When Johnson's character Hobbs and the team track Diesel's character Dom to New York City to stop him from stealing a nuclear football, they do so by harpooning his car from multiple angles. That's a fine plan, but how did they have time to perfectly attach their devices to the vehicles while still keeping them anesthetically pleasing? And why hide the harpoon guns? Were they trying to blend in while driving a giant bulletproof Hummer, a maroon and white Bentley, a red '70s era Porsche, and whatever Chris "Ludacris" Bridges was driving? That's not really driving casual, so they might as well have bolted the harpoon guns to the hood of the cars. Unless, of course, the harpoon guns were already in the cars, and if so, that says more about the car manufacturers than anything else.
So Explosions Can't Kill You If You're Surrounded By Cars?
Apparently if you're surrounded by cars during a massive explosion, you're going to be just fine. Not to be a jerk, but that seem implausible to say the least. You would think a heat-seeking missile that blows up a submarine would create such a large blast that anything within its immediate proximity would also blow up, be caught on fire, or at least pushed around a little bit. So when Dom manages to survive the blast because he's surrounded by cars and friendship, the entire physics of the film are called into question.