How can I put this lightly? Okay, I can't. Dating sucks! Sure, it’s fun to get dolled up, talk about yourself, and receive flattery from strangers, but after several rounds of douchey duds, you’ve sworn off dating forever and you’re ready to join a nudist commune in Colorado. So what’s the deal? Why can’t we just make some sexy eye contact in a bar, follow our pheromones, and call it a date?
Bad dates are a lot easier to come by than good dates. When you’re looking for something more than just a casual hookup, there are tons of dating deal breakers floating around in your subconscious as you judge your date from across the table. Why is he talking about himself so much? Why is he talking about his mom so much? Is that a tattoo of a yin yang on his wrist? Is he already drunk off that lemon drop?
If you’ve ever found yourself on a bad date, you can probably commiserate with many of the inexcusable deal breakers listed below. And if you’re just getting back into the game, read through this list of the worst dating offenses ever before you start weeding through your OKCupid messages.Which characteristics cause you to kick that a**hat to the curb? Vote for the deal breakers you think are impossible to overlook, and add any cringeworthy offenses you don't see listed. And if he starts sending you shirtless selfies, channel your inner Liz Lemon and shut it down!
You invite your mom to come along on our date.
You Don't Pay Child Support or See Your Kids.
You interrupt or talk over me.
You hit on the bartender or waitress in front of me
You're openly rude to others
You blatantly check out other girls while we're on a date
You casually mention you have a girlfriend
You have poor hygiene (bad breath, B.O., dirty laundry, etc.)
You're aggressive and imposing about your political, religious, or environmental beliefs
You constantly check your phone while we're talking
You Try to Tell Me How to Raise My Kids.
You don't get along with my kid
You talk excessively about your mom, your exes, or your shrink
You never offer to pick up the check
You don't understand sarcasm (or laugh at any of my jokes)
You talk excessively about yourself
When you drink liquor, you turn into Wolverine
You chew with your mouth open or make weird mouth noises while chewing
You don't like animals
You invite your friends out with us whenever we go on a date
You talk about how volatile your last couple of breakups were