Brought to you by FanDuel: Football season is upon us, Rankers, and with it also comes the knowledge that a season-ending injury could strike your favorite player (or more importantly, your best fantasy player) at any moment. Injuries on the gridiron are very much a part of the game (it's football, not futbol). However, THIS is a list of injuries suffered by players doing literally anything else but playing football. We're talking walking the dog, playing with kids, hanging in the club...these are grown men who can withstand a hit from a 400-pound linebacker but not a romp with a puppy. No joke.
If you think you've seen the worst sports injuries in the history of the game, you might have; but THESE, these are the dumbest sports injuries in the history of the NFL (not to be confused with all the other professional athletes who hurt themselves in stupid ways).*Note* this list does not include injuries suffered on the field while the game wasn't being played. No stupid touchdown dance injuries or freak sideline accidents here (although these guys have found themselves sidelined from plenty of stupid sports injuries like that as well).
During his time with the New York Giants in 2008, Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg with his own gun tucked into the waist of his pants while at a club. That's correct: a hulking professional football player was so scared of the 5' nothing girls in heels at the club that he felt the need to arm himself with a deadly weapon (that he of-so-securely tucked in). He missed the rest of the season and wouldn't return to the NFL until 2011 (the same year he was released from prison).
The no. 1 draft pick in the 1984 NFL Draft, Fryar headed to New England with great expectations. However, no one would have expected his highlight with the Pats to be an actual low light. In 1986, Fryar sat out what was then the biggest game of his career, the AFC Championship game versus Miami because his wife slashed his hand with a kitchen knife in a domestic dispute. Though he carved out a nice career, playing for a few teams, many in New England remember him for this injury. off-the-field injuries
In 2003, while with the Denver Broncos, Jake Plummer broke his left foot at home getting up off of his couch. Off. Of. His. Couch. He missed a few weeks but returned that season and went on to a very good 2004 season, and an incredible 2005 season. Let this be a lesson in couch safety to all of you less-than-pro-athlete-level sofa enthusiasts that accidents can happen at any time.
After originally saying that he had slipped on a McDonald's bag and severely injured his arm in March of 2008, Brandon Marshall eventually confessed that he put his arm through his TV while playfully wrestling with his family. He didn't miss any games due to that injury the following season. That'll teach you to blame McDonald's for something that doesn't involve burned groins and/or gross obesity.