25 Funny Award Ceremony Jokes That Still Hit Hard

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Over 11.5K Ranker voters have come together to rank this list of 25 Funny Award Ceremony Jokes That Still Hit Hard
Voting Rules

Vote up the zingers that should win their own award for “Best Joke.”

Award shows are polarizing events by nature. Some fans love to tune in to see their favorite celebrities decked out in daring fashion, witness musical performances and heartwarming acceptance speeches, and of course, drink in the inevitable drama and awkward moments that play out live on stage. 

For others, though, award ceremonies are dismissed as a self-indulgence of Hollywood, where wealthy celebrities pat each other on the back for their many accomplishments - and for which they've already raked in millions of dollars. Plus, there's the outrage at seeing your favorite celebrity or their work snubbed for a winner you consider inferior.

But over the years, the one saving grace of these televised get-togethers has been comedy. Award show hosts have bravely roasted the famous people they're standing in front of for the delight of viewers at home. Presenters and award winners, too, have imbued their speeches with comedic flair to give a respite from the many dry categories and laundry lists of thank yous. 

So with this list we'd like to thank them, for giving us these punchlines that still make us laugh years after the credits have rolled.

Latest additions: Jimmy Kimmel On The Slap, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel On Maggie Smith's Emmys Absence

  • Steve Carell's 'My Wife Wrote My Acceptance Speech'
    Video: YouTube

    Steve Carell snagged the 2006 Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy Series for his portrayal of Michael Scott in The Office. While it has since become one of the most popular comedy shows ever, at the time the NBC series had only premiered the year prior and was less on the radar.

    In his acceptance speech, Carell told the audience that, not expecting to actually win, he only had a speech his wife (Nancy Carell) had written for him:

    I really did not expect this so I didn't write anything. However, my wife did and handed me something. [Reading from the paper] I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for this great honor. I would also like to thank my wife, Nancy, for her constant support and for being so beautiful tonight. [Aside] That's true.

    Thanks also to Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant for creating such a wonderful, groundbreaking piece of television… Uh, also to my wife, for giving me two wonderful children as painful as her labor might have been. Thanks also to an excellent cast, crew, and writing staff all of whom I am indebted to. If it were not for you, I would not be here right now. [Aside] I don't know about that. 

    Steve Sauer… Holly Burrell… Nancy, my precious wife, who put her career on hold in support of mine and who sometimes wishes I would let her know when I’m going to be home late so she can schedule her life, which is no less important than mine. To my parents for not making me go to law school, and finally, to the love of my life, Nancy.

    7,533 votes
  • Amy Poehler And Tina Fey On What Warrants A Lifetime Achievement Award
    Video: YouTube
    2
    7,847 VOTES

    Amy Poehler And Tina Fey On What Warrants A Lifetime Achievement Award

    At the 2015 Golden Globes, repeat co-hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler struck once again at the now-married George Clooney, though this time it was more of an indictment of celebrity culture as a whole. Fey pointed out,

    George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.

    7,847 votes
  • Billy Crystal On The Ridiculousness Of The Whole Thing
    Video: YouTube

    Nine-time Academy Award host Billy Crystal hit the nail on the show's self-congratulatory head when he remarked in his 2012 monologue:

    So tonight, enjoy yourselves. Because nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires collecting gold statues.

    5,079 votes
  • Tina Fey And Amy Poehler's Dig At George Clooney
    Video: YouTube

    Co-hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey made a searing comment on actor George Clooney's penchant for dating younger women during their 2014 Golden Globes monologue:

    Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.

    5,535 votes
  • 5
    4,506 VOTES

    Hugh Jackman On Meryl Streep

    In terms of Meryl Streep jokes, Hugh Jackman's quip about the actress at the 2009 Oscars is up there:

    Fifteen career Oscar nominations. That's a record. I hate to say it but when someone puts up numbers like that, it's just hard not to think steroids.

    4,506 votes
  • Jimmy Kimmel's Take On The Perfect Post #MeToo Man
    Video: YouTube
    6
    4,387 VOTES

    Jimmy Kimmel's Take On The Perfect Post #MeToo Man

    Jimmy Kimmel's opening monologue at the 2018 Oscars touched on the treatment of women in Hollywood after the explosion of the #MeToo Movement. Kimmel pointed out that Oscar himself might be the least problematic man in the industry:

    Oscar is the most beloved and respected man in Hollywood and there’s a very good reason why. Just look at him. Keeps his hands where you can see them. Never says a rude word. And most importantly, no penis at all. He is literally a statue of limitations and that’s the kind of men we need more of in this town. 

    Here’s how clueless Hollywood is about women: We made a movie called What Women Want and it starred Mel Gibson.

    4,387 votes