As the 21st century began to loom over the world, everyone’s favorite Auntie’s boy seemed to have lost his sense of humor. Spider-Man jokes almost seemed like a thing of the past. He wasn’t as dour as The Punisher, but he cut out a lot of his silly quips, joined The Avengers (snooze), and died a couple of times - which is bound to kill anyone’s sense of humor. Thanks to Marvel’s desire to bring young readers into the fold, they’ve once again started writing your friendly neighborhood web slinger as a happy-go-lucky protagonist who would rather get a free lunch with She-Hulk than fight the Green Goblin for the 700th time.
Some of the jokes Spider-Man tells are very on brand for the wall crawler, while others seem like they were cooked up by comic book writers who had a chance to write for their favorite web head and didn’t want to waste the dialogue by having him pine for Mary Jane. These choice quips and funny spider-themed banter span Peter Parker’s 50-plus years as a superhero, and they prove that the wall crawler is at his best when he’s goofing off. Whether your favorite Spider-Man is Peter Parker, Miles Morales, Ben Reilly, or Doc Ock (long story), there’s a quip on here just for you.
Some of My Best Friends Are Black
When She-Hulk tells Spider-Man that she can help him get back at J. Jonah Jameson for running his name through the mud in The Daily Bugle, it seems like the simplest court case in the world. All they have to do is show up, embarrass the editor in chief, and hope that no super villains attack during the proceedings.
This panel is great, not just because it shows that Spidey's wit is as sharp as ever, but it proves just how slimy Jameson really is.
Not Your Normal Fruit of the Loom
It can be hard putting your life back together after a mad scientist swaps your consciousness for his in an attempt to further his existence while getting rid of his greatest nemesis. Not only do you have to explain that to your friends, but sometimes you also end up wearing web underwear that last for an indefinite amount of time. Those are just a few cons of being Spider-Man.
The Oddest Man Ever
There's a lot going on in the New Avengers storyline "Siege," but to try and put it succinctly: Norman Osbourne, Loki, and the Sentry want to take over Asgard (which is floating over Oklahoma), while also rebuilding Osbourne's public persona as a helpful billionaire. While most of the Avengers are fighting the Sentry and Norman above the panhandle state, Spider-Man and Spider-Woman are staking out Osbourne's office and bantering away like crazy.
Spider-Man, being the dork he is, delivers most of his lines like he's at a renaissance faire, and Spider-Woman takes it about as well as any woman would.
I'm Summoning the Spiders
Doesn't it make sense that Spider-Man should be able to control all of the spiders in the world? Or at least carry a bunch of little spiders in his pockets? That's what we would do if we were Spider-Man. This panel comes from one of the most chaotic and truly funny issues of Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man, where the wall crawler has to go head to head with Emma Frost, and a new super villain who may or may not be very good at his job. Also he's apparently never heard of Spider-Man.