Humor 13 Hilarious Anti-Masturbation Ads  

Bryce Chelsea
21.6k votes 4.4k voters 2.5M views 15 items

Keep it in your pants. No jerkin' that gherkin'. You'll go cross-eyed! There are so many admonitions out there against pleasuring yourself, you'd think the whole world had a serious problem refraining from a good fap at every turn. While it's entirely possible that's the case, there are also some people out there who just want to stop nice, hard-working people from having a good time... with themselves. 

These hilarious anti-masturbation ads highlight just how much SOME PEOPLE want your business to remain closed off to the most important customer of all: you. From hilarious devices meant to stop you from pleasuring yourself starting at an early age to desperate pleas from political pundits to be the cleanest you that you can be, there are plenty of crazy anti-beat-off ads out there to take your mind off giving yourself a quick pickle tickle (by talking to you about not jerkin' that gherkin). 

What can you say to someone to get them to stop masturbating? What are some anti-masturbating mascots? These absurd ploys to get you to stop masturbating will only make you laugh and perhaps cry... after you make too much sex to yourself.
1 2,440 VOTES

But That's Why You Have Two!


But That's Why You Have Two! is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 13 Hilarious Anti-Masturbation Ads
Photo: Christian Mothers Against Masturbation/Facebook
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2 2,044 VOTES

Costs in the Thousands!


Costs in the Thousands! is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 13 Hilarious Anti-Masturbation Ads
Photo: Imgur
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3 1,724 VOTES

T-Rex Was the Original


T-Rex Was the Original is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 13 Hilarious Anti-Masturbation Ads
Photo: Imgur
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4 1,693 VOTES

Just Have Some Gum, Honey


Just Have Some Gum, Honey is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 13 Hilarious Anti-Masturbation Ads
Photo: Pinterest
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