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The Best Daniel Tosh Jokes, Ranked

Updated May 22, 2019 3.4k votes 353 voters 5.5k views25 items

Here are the best Daniel Tosh jokes, ranked by comedy fans everywhere. One of the most hilarious stand-up comedians ever, Daniel Tosh sells out tours around the country and even has a hit TV show on Comedy Central called Tosh.0. With his dry delivery and dark humor, it is easy to see why people flock to see him perform. He's had plenty of noteworthy jokes over the years, and whether you know him from Brickleberry or The Love Guru, he is bound to have a joke that will make you chuckle at least a little. Which Daniel Tosh jokes are your favorite?

Tosh appeals to a very specific type of comedy fan. He humor often delves into the darkest aspects of humanity, so you better have a good sense of humor before you turn on one of his comedy specials. Some of his jokes have landed him in hot water over the years. The jokes on this list can get pretty dark, so if that's not your thing, then it would be best to click away now.

These Daniel Tosh quotes run the gambit of his career. Some are more recent than others, but there will at least be a few that will have you laughing. It is up to you to decide what the funniest Daniel Tosh joke of all time is.  

  • 5

    Make It Hail

    I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sl*ts.

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  • 6

    I'm Not Spiritual

    I'm Not Spiritual
    Photo: lisaamulvey / flickr / CC-BY-NC 2.0

    You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

    120
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  • 7

    Plastic Surgery

    Plastic Surgery
    Photo: YouTube

    I'm all for women who get plastic surgery because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance: fake. 

    92
    15
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  • 8

    Bad Test Taker

    Don't you love it when people in school are like, "I'm a bad test taker"? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. 

    123
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