360 voters

The Best Daniel Tosh Jokes, Ranked

Updated May 22, 2019 3.5k votes 360 voters 5.6k views25 items

Here are the best Daniel Tosh jokes, ranked by comedy fans everywhere. One of the most hilarious stand-up comedians ever, Daniel Tosh sells out tours around the country and even has a hit TV show on Comedy Central called Tosh.0. With his dry delivery and dark humor, it is easy to see why people flock to see him perform. He's had plenty of noteworthy jokes over the years, and whether you know him from Brickleberry or The Love Guru, he is bound to have a joke that will make you chuckle at least a little. Which Daniel Tosh jokes are your favorite?

Tosh appeals to a very specific type of comedy fan. He humor often delves into the darkest aspects of humanity, so you better have a good sense of humor before you turn on one of his comedy specials. Some of his jokes have landed him in hot water over the years. The jokes on this list can get pretty dark, so if that's not your thing, then it would be best to click away now.

These Daniel Tosh quotes run the gambit of his career. Some are more recent than others, but there will at least be a few that will have you laughing. It is up to you to decide what the funniest Daniel Tosh joke of all time is.  

  • 9

    Bad Test Taker

    Don't you love it when people in school are like, "I'm a bad test taker"? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. 

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  • 10


    How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, I'm a registered sex offender.

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  • 11


    I hate you, Google. You've caused a lot of problems in my relationship. I share a computer with my girlfriend and she would look up anything. "I'm going to look up apples today." She just hits 'A.' It's 'Asian *ss p*rn' instantly.

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  • Asterisk
    Photo: user uploaded image


    We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds's name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk? Why don't people talk about that? 

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