True Stories

Reddit Users Share Their "Guiltiest Faps"  

Jacob Shelton
1.3k votes 415 voters 95.5k views 15 items

List Rules Vote up the most unbelievable stories

Every boy that learns of the joy of masturbation goes through a phase where he can’t pull his hands away from his penis for two seconds. This strange part of our lives gives birth to plenty of weird and embarrassing masturbation stories that serve as a way to keep every guy in the world from ever truly being cool. As you might have guessed, the topic of fap stories came up in a few funny Reddit threads and boy are some of these jacking off stories embarrassing.

No one should feel shame for exploring a normal part of growing up, but yeeeeikes - some of these stories overloaded our embarrassment bone and made us never want to look another person in the eye for as long as we live. Prepare to cringe until you can cringe no more as Redditors share their “guiltiest faps.”

The faps in this collection of embarrassing masturbation stories run the gamut from “we’ve all been there,” to “please go away.” Some of them are strangely heartwarming, while at least one of the stories will make you cry for an entirely different reason. If you made it through your awkward teenage years in one piece, there’s a good chance that you have at least one embarrassing fap story like the shameful secrets on this list. Whatever you do, don’t tell us about them in the comments. 

There's Nothing Like the Shame of Your Entire Family Listening to You Fap

In a truly sad story full of searing hot shame, a Redditor too afraid to give his real handle tells of a road trip he took with his grandparents and sibling where he sat in the way way back of their station wagon and fapped his brains out. He thought he was being smart by using his headphones while he was watching porn on his laptop, but no one is never as smart as they think they are. It turned out that his headphones weren't fully plugged in and the noise was blasting through his computer speakers. His entire family heard and no one said anything.

Agree or disagree?
Teen Masturbates at Church Camp to the Sound of the Mentally Handicapped

For some reason Redditor SpankeyJones shared a story with the world about how he fapped at church camp while in a tent with his parents, listening to what he thought were people having sex. The next morning he found out that the moans he heard were actually from a mentally handicapped camper just a few tents over. 

Agree or disagree?
14 Year Old Faps Away While His Dad Hangs from the Roof

Everyone remembers relishing the few moments you had to yourself to fap once your parents were out of the house. And Kaptain_Katnip took some time to himself to work one out when his dad decided to fix the roof. Unfortunately, the banging sounds that he thought were hammering away were actually the sounds of his dad screaming for help as he hung off the roof and stared death in the face. 

Agree or disagree?
Never Break a Promise to Your Friends

Best friends never break a promise, even if one of the friends is dead. After making a promise to a friend that he would masturbate at his funeral, Shameofdarkness suffered the tragedy of actually losing that friend a year later. So he did what he promised he would do and fapped away in sadness at his buddy's funeral.

Agree or disagree?