Some of the funniest movie speeches ever, not surprisingly, can be found in some of the most hilarious classic film comedies. Whether it's Bluto trying to be motivational by rallying his frat brothers in the comedic Animal House, Ferris' many speeches to the camera in Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Groucho Marx entertaining a room filled with party-goers in Animal Crackers, these funny movie speeches represent the best of the best where hilarity is concerned. Check out inspiring movie speeches and the best tough guy monologues, too!
Limiting a list of funny monologues from movies was a challenge– while most of these are from comedy movies, others are from funny parts of more serious movies. I'm sure I left off some of your favorites, so if I did, please add them. This is an Open List, meaning anyone can contribute. Please do! And while you're here, vote on your favorites, too.
What are some famous funny speeches? What are the funniest movie speeches ever? Looking for more movie speeches and monologues? Check out this list of the most inspiring movie speeches and this list of the best, most famous movie monologues for fun!
- 5233 VOTES
My name is Happy Gilmore. Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey... wasn't the greatest skater though. But that didn't stop my dad from teaching me the secret of slapping the greatest slapshot. My dad worshiped hockey, my mom didn't, that's why she moved to Egypt, where there's not a hockey rink within 15 hundred miles. Dad always took me to games to cheer for our favorite player, Terry O'Riley, the Tazmanian Devil. He wasn't the biggest guy in the league, but he feared nobody, just like me. Handsome fellow huh? He always said that when I grew up I could be anything I wanted to be, but I never wanted to be anything but a hockey player. Yeah my childhood was going great, but life is full of surprises. After the funeral, I was sent to live with my grandma in Waterberry. I was kinda nervous since I really didn't know her that well, but she dressed like Gene Simmons from KISS to cheer me up, she's the sweetest person in the world. See after my dad died I developed kinda a short fuse. You see that kid over there just stole my party blower, and instead of asking for it back, I felt that I had to belt him in the head a bunch of times with a hammer. Look at me go. But I was always quick to say I was sorry. During high school I played junior hockey and still hold two league records; most time spent in the penalty box, and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab someone. After I graduated I had a lot of different jobs; I was a road worker, a janitor, a security guard, a gas station attendant, and a plumber. Lately I've been working construction, it's not a bad racket, I'm a pretty good shot with a nail gun, but one day my boss, Mr. Larson, uh got in the way. Apparently he also has a short fuse. Look at that monster. He got a few lucky punches in there, but I still feel I won the fight. Anyways, those other jobs weren't for me. I was put on this planet for one reason, to play hockey.
Adam Sandler's 1996 comedy Happy Gilmore is a hilarious movie, and Happy's explanation here about why he was put on the Earth to play hockey is a classic example.Buy at Amazon
- 6147 VOTES
I don't know if you ever heard of me before, but I used to be called 'The Waco Kid.' I was just walking down the street, and I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it Mister!" I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid. Well I just threw my guns down and walked away....little bastard shot me in the a**! So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Gene Wilder's Jim (The Waco Kid) delivers a hilarious speech explaining his history in 1974's Mel Brooks comedy Blazing Saddles.Buy at Amazon
- 7109 VOTES
License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to lie back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.
Bill Murray's demented groundskeeper, Carl Spackler, in 1980's Caddyshack is my favorite Murray character ever. His description of why gophers (aka Varmint Cong) must die is a classic.Buy at Amazon
- 897 VOTES
Over? Did you say 'over?!' Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! Come on! (runs out, nobody follows, runs back in) What the f**k happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? 'Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble.' Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter interrupts Bluto's motivational speech at this point, throwing his support behind his frat brother, even though he's "psychotic."
In this classic funny speech from 1978's Animal House, Bluto (John Belushi) has just learned that Dean Wormer has kicked them all out of school. His speech rallying tries his fraternity brothers together is one for the ages.Buy at Amazon