Entertainment
1.8k voters

The Funniest Famous Movie Speeches Of All Time

Updated November 6, 2018 2.8k votes 1.8k voters 617.8k views17 items

Some of the funniest movie speeches ever, not surprisingly, can be found in some of the most hilarious classic film comedies. Whether it's Bluto trying to be motivational by rallying his frat brothers in the comedic Animal House, Ferris' many speeches to the camera in Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Groucho Marx entertaining a room filled with party-goers in Animal Crackers, these funny movie speeches represent the best of the best where hilarity is concerned. Check out inspiring movie speeches and the best tough guy monologues, too! 

Limiting a list of funny monologues from movies was a challenge– while most of these are from comedy movies, others are from funny parts of more serious movies. I'm sure I left off some of your favorites, so if I did, please add them. This is an Open List, meaning anyone can contribute. Please do! And while you're here, vote on your favorites, too.

What are some famous funny speeches? What are the funniest movie speeches ever? Looking for more movie speeches and monologues? Check out this list of the most inspiring movie speeches and this list of the best, most famous movie monologues for fun!

Photo:
  • Video: YouTube

    I think you’re all f**ked in the head. We’re ten hours from the f**king fun park and you want to bail out! Well, I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much f**king fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our g*d damn smiles! You’ll be whistling "Zippity Doo Da" out of your a**holes! (laughs) I gotta be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy s***!

    Clark Griswold is barely hanging on, and in this hilarious bit from 1983's Vacation, Chevy Chase delivers without question one of the funniest rants from any comedy movie ever.

    153
    92
    Is this funny?

    More Vacation 

    #35 of 1,141 The Absolute Funniest Movies Of All Time#1 of 305 The Funniest '80s Movies#122 of 1,506 The Most Rewatchable Movies

  • Video: YouTube

    Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "What happened to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama. Any questions? 

    Mitch's career day speech at his kids' school in 1991's City Slickers definitely deserves a spot of honor on this list. Billy Crystal is hysterical in this movie!

    71
    29
    Is this funny?

    More City Slickers 

    9 Behind-The-Scenes Stories From 'City Slickers'#498 of 1,195 Every Oscar Winning Film Ever#33 of 252 The Funniest '90s Movies

  • Video: YouTube

    License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to lie back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

    Bill Murray's demented groundskeeper, Carl Spackler, in 1980's Caddyshack is my favorite Murray character ever. His description of why gophers (aka Varmint Cong) must die is a classic.

    68
    37
    Is this funny?

    More Caddyshack 

    #73 of 375 'Old' Movies Every Young Person Needs To Watch In Their Lifetime#25 of 512 The Greatest Movies Of The 1980s, Ranked#2 of 924 The All-Time Greatest Comedy Films

  • Video: YouTube

    I don't know if you ever heard of me before, but I used to be called 'The Waco Kid.' I was just walking down the street, and I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it Mister!" I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid. Well I just threw my guns down and walked away....little bastard shot me in the a**! So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

    Gene Wilder's Jim (The Waco Kid) delivers a hilarious speech explaining his history in 1974's Mel Brooks comedy Blazing Saddles.

    87
    57
    Is this funny?

    More Blazing Saddles 

    #37 of 401 The Best Western Movies Ever Made#109 of 549 The Greatest Epic Movies Ever Made#11 of 552 The Best '70s Movies