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The Best 'Get Hard' Movie Quotes

Updated June 28, 2020 426 votes 301 voters 101.9k views10 items

Get Hard movie quotes bring the laughs that come when one businessman hires his only Black friend to prepare him for a prison sentence. The comedy film was directed by Etan Cohen using a screenplay by Jay Martel and Ian Roberts. Get Hard opened in theaters on March 27, 2015.

In Get Hard, wealthy businessman James King (Will Ferrell) seems to have it all in life. He has a huge house and beautiful wife (Alison Brie), but that all changes when the FBI arrives to arrest him on charges of fraud and embezzlement. While James proclaims his innocence, a judge sentences him to 10 years at a maximum security facility.

James knows prison will be a culture shock so he hires the only Black guy he knows, Darnell (Kevin Hart), to prepare him. While Darnell has never really been to prison, he takes the job and the two embark on prison school. But can a rich businessman get hard from this never-incarcerated family man and learn enough to get him through this sentence? The jury is still out on that one.

Get Hard opens alongside a bunch of other fantastic movies such as Insurgent, Cinderella (2015), The Gunman, Run All Night, Unfinished Business.

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  • 5

    This is San Quentin Now

    Darnell: This ain't no longer your house, man. This is San Quentin now.
    ...
    Darnell: We're going to roll part of the yard, white boy... [in a Latino accent] You lost, esse?
    James: I'm very confused.
    Darnell: Then go back where you belong!
    James: I don't know where I belong.
    Darnell: I know where you belong. You belong with me.
    James: I don't want that.

    Darnell and James do an exercise where Darnell acts as various stereotypical ethnic types and bullies him in a prison yard. James is clearly confused, especially when Darnell hits on him.
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  • 6

    Prison School Is in Session

    James: Hello?
    Darnell: You ready, white boy? Pepper spay, bitch! Prison school is in session!
    James: I'm learning so much. This is exactly what I need.

    The first day of prison school is a rough one for James and it begins with pepper spray right to the face. He takes it in stride, thanking Darnell for this tough lesson.
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  • 7

    Teach Me to Survive in Prison

    Video: YouTube

    James: My life is ruined cause after 30 days I'm going to prison. It's not as bad as I've heard, is it?
    Darnell: Hell yeah, it's bad.
    James: Teach me how to survive in prison the way you did.
    Darnell: Tell me how you know I went to prison.
    James: Given your low economic status...
    Darnell: Wait, what?
    James: Your perceived lack of college education...
    Darnell: Lack of... Okay
    James: Statistically, you definitely went to prison.
    Darnell: Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, convict.

    James enlists the only Black guy he knows, Darnell, to help him prepare for prison. He doesn't for a moment consider that Darnell has not been to prison but Darnell doesn't turn down an easy buck to make that fact known either.

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  • 8

    I Was Being Black

    Video: YouTube

    Rita: What reason did you give him to assume that you went to prison?
    Darnell: I was being Black.
    Rita: You're not exactly a thug, Darnell.
    Darnell: All I gotta do is talk a little deeper.
    Rita: I'm going to say goodnight.
    Darnell: Bitch, don't walk away from me!
    Rita: What in the hell did you just say to me?
    Darnell: Stop! Stop! What is that?

    When Darnell explains to wife Rita what he's been hired to do, Rita cannot believe that Darnell would be anyone to teach a rich businessman about prison. But in a moment, Darnell turns the tables and acts like the stereotypical gangster, a move that Rita hands right back to him.

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