Weird History

Famous Penises That Went Down in History

The world can’t get enough d*cks. It doesn’t matter if they’re big, small, twisted in a corkscrew, or if they have a weird thing hanging off the head; people are fascinated with penises. And if the dongs in question are famous penises, then the fascination grows tenfold.

A penis doesn’t need to be a turgid science fiction prop to become famous; all it needs is an interesting story. A gargantuan penis is great, but if it wasn’t removed from a corpse so it could be worshipped as a fertility idol, then what’s the point? These historical penises belonged (and belong – some of their owners are still alive) to men of power, bank robbers, and rock stars. But the mighty penises also ruined the lives of some of their owners, leading them down roads of destitution and low blood flow. 

Some of the most famous historical penises are shrouded in myth, so much so that you have to trim away a healthy amount of folklore surrounding the famous genitals to get to the true penis and see what it’s really about. Some famous penises, like Jimi Hendrix’s, have been preserved forever in plaster, while other mythical penises have been lost to the sands of time and only survive in tales handed down from mother to daughter and internet commenter to internet commenter. Read along as we try to shed some light on these famous penises that went down in history.