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Culture

The Best Halloween Jokes  

Jack Napier
197 votes 127 voters

List Rules Vote up any good, clean Halloween joke that makes you giggle

Halloween! It's the best. Not only are all of the best movies on TV, but free candy! And people get to tell all of the best Halloween jokes! It would be so great if Halloween was year round, but then nobody would have anything to look forward to for the rest of the year. Anyway, these are the funniest Halloween puns and a bunch of funny Halloween jokes for you to scare up some laughs! SCARE UP. SCAAARRRRREEEEEE. GHOSTS!

Double, double, toil and trouble, cauldron burn and jokes that bubble? Sure. You get it. You don’t have to be a werewolf or a witch to enjoy these funny Halloween jokes, you just have to have a sense of humor! Or at least a funny bone. 

Vote on your favorite Halloween joke!
list ordered by
1
Which Ghost Is The Best Dancer... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Which Ghost Is The Best Dancer?
The Boogie Man!
2
What Do You Call A Hotdog With... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What Do You Call A Hotdog With Nothing Inside?
A "hollow-weenie!" 
3
When Do Ghouls And Goblins Coo... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
When Do Ghouls And Goblins Cook Their Friends?
On fry day!
4
What Does A Vampire Never Orde... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What Does A Vampire Never Order At A Restaurant?
A stake sandwich!
5
What Do Ghosts Drink When They... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What Do Ghosts Drink When They're Thirsty?
Ghoul-Aid!
6
Where Does Count Dracula Eat H... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Where Does Count Dracula Eat His Lunch?

At the casketeria. 

7
How Do Monsters Tell Their Fut... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
How Do Monsters Tell Their Future?
They read their horrorscope!
8
How Do You Write A Book About ... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
How Do You Write A Book About Halloween?
With a ghostwriter!
9
What's A Ghost's Favorite Kind... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What's A Ghost's Favorite Kind Of Street?
A dead end!
10
What's A Mummy's Favorite Type... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What's A Mummy's Favorite Type Of Music?
Wrap!
11
Why Do Vampires Need Mouthwash... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Why Do Vampires Need Mouthwash?

They have bat breath... 

12
Why Didn't The Skeleton Go See... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Why Didn't The Skeleton Go See The Scary Movie?
He didn't have the guts
13
Why Did The Ghost Go To The Ba... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Why Did The Ghost Go To The Bar?
For the boos
 
14
What Did One Ghost Say To The ... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What Did One Ghost Say To The Other Ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
15
Where Do Mummies Go For A Swim... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Where Do Mummies Go For A Swim?
The Dead Sea
 
16
What Do You Call A Little Mons... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What Do You Call A Little Monster's Parents?
Mummy and Deady
17
Who Was The Most Famous Skelet... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Who Was The Most Famous Skeleton Detective?
Sherlock Bones!
18
Where Do Most Werewolves Live? is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
Where Do Most Werewolves Live?
Howllywood, California
19
What Do Witches Use In Their H... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Halloween Jokes
What Do Witches Use In Their Hair?
Scare-spray!