With such a popular series, there's bound to be loads of Harry Potter fanfic. And tastes certainly run the gamut. There’s the Draco/Harry, Hermione/Snape, and even Harry/Ron slashfic, but then there’s the specialized world of the most unlikely scenarios. There’s a delightful Harry Potter slashfic about the giant squid hooking up with the Hogwarts’s castle. Worth it of the exploding bread alone. But, it’s not one of the oddest Harry Potter erotica stories out there.
There are stories for furries such as the one about Hermione turning into a cat and having quite the time with boyfriend Harry. Then there’s the sticky situation where Harry must collect something unseemly from a Thestraal.
If you’re new to Harry Potter slash fiction, why not dive right in with some Snape on Lucius action complete with Hermione watching. There’s also that time Harry woke up in Crabbe’s bed and didn’t know what hit him. But maybe ease into stories like the one about Hermione’s mom fantasy.
How well do you know your Harry Potter fan fiction? On a scale of light kissing to 21 chapters of harems and wizarding orgies, how do you rate? Let’s take a peek.
Harry 's Harem and Hermione’s WTF Fantasy About Her Own Mom
Harry Potter, Master of Hogwarts
Forget about Voldemort, Harry is neck deep in, uh, drama. Narcissa Malfoy gave birth to Harry’s child Lilith. Hermione is also pregnant by Harry, plus she has a thing with Fleur. There are orgies in the Room of Requirement. Oh, and Harry’s got both the Book of Eros and a coin he uses to lure witches into his harem, including Tonks. But that’s not all. When Hermione casts a binding spell on her mother, she’s turned on by it. You did not read any of that wrong. What. Is. Happening?!“Tonks was stunned by the revelations, in the past week she had learnt little about Harry, other than the stuff everybody already knew. But in the last half an hour she had learnt the key facts that had eluded her; Harry was Lilith’s father, Narcissa and Harry were in love, and that the Skeeter bitch had been right all along, there WAS a harem in play at Hogwarts, and Harry was the head of it. She still didn’t know however; who else was a part of it and what had caused so many witches to flock to Harry’s bed."
When Harry Met Lucius
The Seduction of Harry Potter
Lucius Malfoy has a problem. He wants what he wants and he wants Harry. He has to find out how to extract Ginny from Harry’s life, so he can move in. What?! Hope those two crazy kids are happy.
“He supposed that his biggest problem was the other man's girlfriend, well that and the fact that the other man had shown no indication of being anything other than one hundred percent heterosexual. He was Lucius Malfoy though if anyone could seduce the other man to his way of thinking it was him. Harry Potter wouldn't know what hit him, and Ginny Weasley had no chance. Malfoy's always get what they want and he wanted Harry…Locking the file in his desk drawer Lucius made his way to his rooms to dress for the ball that evening at the ministry. He intended to make his move that evening, or rather his first move. He was, after all, prepared to play a rather long game to gain Harry’s affections. He knew that he would be able to hold out for what he desired much longer than Miss Weasley would without losing his composure.”
If You’re Into Harry Dreaming About Ginny and Hermione Hooking Up, This One’s for You
Harry has a dream that has him wrestling with his morals and his bedding.
“His rational self remarked that it was odd that Ginny was speaking in Hermione's voice. His dream self announced that having Hermione here would be a very good idea indeed and a very naked Hermione appeared beside Ginny. Then the girls kissed.
His rational self no longer found Ginny speaking with Hermione's voice to be worth comment. His Dream self was over the moon considering the possibilities, his moral self was trying to scream bloody murder, but Ginny's hand on his mouth made that impossible, and his compassionate self was busily trying to ignore the entire situation.
‘Harry, wake up,’ whispered Ginny in Hermione's voice despite the lip lock the two girls were sharing."
The Giant Squid Has a Go at Hogwarts
By Lyris Malachi
What does the lonely castle do when the kids aren’t in school? Have sex with the giant squid in the Black Lake surrounding it. The end result is a lot of squid ink sprayed all over the walls and hallways, exploded loaves of bread, and even overflowing toilets for the house elves to clean up.
“Hogwarts watched the giant squid approach and felt apprehension well up in his kitchen. ‘What are you doing?’ The words weren’t spoken, but they were understood.‘Just trust me,’ the giant squid replied, caressing Hogwarts’s outerwalls. ‘I’m not ready!’ Hogwarts exclaimed, trying to push the giant squid away with his magic. ‘Hogwarts, you’re lonely. I’m lonely. We don’t have to be. Besides, you can’t go around manipulating your staircases.’ ‘You know about that!’ ‘Everyone does. Sort of.’
‘That’s beside the point. I’ve never…’ The temperature within rose in embarrassment. ‘I’ll go slow. I promise.’ He began to caress a window, teasing it open. Hogwarts sighed, the fight leaving him. He relaxed, allowing the tentacle inside, where it brushed against the inner walls before settling on the stone floor. He fastened the suction cups to the floor, lifting the tentacle away so that it pulled on the floor without losing its grip.” Another sigh swept through the halls of Hogwarts. ‘Oh Merlin. That feels so good.’ "