Hateful, Hateful Cartoon Characters
Saturday morning cartoons. The staple of my childhood. But there was a stink in the flower field... and these characters were responsible. Even as a kid, they made my teeth clench.
Ah, there you are Shark-Jumper. There are a lot of characters on this list that fit the 'Poochy' criteria, but Scrappy Doo might be the worst of them all. Remember when you used to love Scooby Doo? Remember when they added this little shithead? Remember how you could not bear to watch that show for even one second more after that?
Burn in hell, Scrappy.
BatmiteWay to ruin Batman and Robin, guys. Do we really need a mentally disabled magical loser from another dimension on a show with THE GODDAMN BATMAN on it? Really?
"Snarf, snarf" I have a deep, abiding hatred for all 'comic relief' characters designed only to be 'relatable' and 'cute' and dumb. Always dumb. Apparently dumb = funny?
The Wonder TwinsAh, the Wonder Twins. Take them on their own, and I guess they aren't so offensive... but put them on Superfriends and they become supremely irritating. Sucking drama out of every episode, every mission... getting in constant trouble to be rescued from. Squeaky voices. Stupid costumes. And lamest powers ever. Form of an ice bucket? What?!
Oh god, did I hate this monkey.
Look, I know the Superfriends was no quality show... but I wanted to watch the Superheroes be superhero-y. I did NOT want to watch the stupid monkey get into trouble and do "funny" things. And yet, somehow... every single episode, there he was with his single working brain cell... doing stupid things that got in the way of Justice League business. I have no idea why Superman never picked this little f**ker up and tossed him into the sun.
Look, I never even liked The Flintstones. At all. But I was a slave to cartoons when I was a kid. If they were on, I was compelled to watch. I loathed all the characters and that ONE JOKE they had over and over and over about the prehistoric wildlife that had lives of forced labor running all the various "prehistoric" "appliances".
Ha. Haha. So hilarious.
And when the audience FINALLY grew weary of that one stupid joke they were like, let's bring in the green alien! That'll fix it!