14 Of The Dumbest Things Pop Culture Has Us Believe About Pirates
Photo: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl / Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

14 Of The Dumbest Things Pop Culture Has Us Believe About Pirates

Over 1.0K Ranker voters have come together to rank this list of 14 Of The Dumbest Things Pop Culture Has Us Believe About Pirates
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Vote up the most believable tropes only a bilge-sucking landlubber would make up .

"AAARRRRRHHHH, watch out for my peg leg, matey, and keep your hands off my parrot, or I'll make you walk the plank, AAARRRRRHHHH!" Pirate tropes pop up all over pop culture, from billion-dollar movie franchises like Pirates of the Caribbean to TV shows and video games. But the most familiar pirate archetypes aren't exactly historically accurate. And, if you think about it, many pirate tropes are downright idiotic. Why would real pirates make maps that led directly to their treasure? Or constantly fly the skull and crossbones, announcing to every ship that they're criminals?

The historical inaccuracies in Pirates of the Caribbean could fill an entire list. No, pirates weren't constantly in mutiny against their captains or running from ghost ships. But a lot of pirate tropes make for exciting plots - historically accurate pirate movies would have to feature guys named Moses Butterworth (an actual 18th-century pirate) who visited their wives on the weekend and peacefully voted for their pirate captains. 

  • 1
    739 VOTES

    Pirate Crews Were Prone To Mutiny

    Pirate Crews Were Prone To Mutiny
    Photo: Treasure Island / RKO Radio Pictures

    The Trope: Pirate crews turned on their captain frequently, calling for a mutiny to overthrow the captain. 

    Why Is It Inaccurate? Crews didn't have to mutiny - they could simply elect a new captain. That's right, pirates voted for their captains. Pirates actually ran their ships with pseudo-constitutions that guaranteed rights for the crewmen. These rules also governed how pirates handled disputes.

    Unlike naval ships, where captains claimed total control over their crews, pirates tried to avoid autocratic rule. Pirate captains could command the crew during battle, but at other times, the quartermaster governed the ship. Instead of placing all power in the captain's hands, this structure created a divided system of power. Pirates also wrote down how to divide any booty, with the captain typically receiving twice the share of a crewman - a far cry from the trope of a dictator captain who seizes all the plunder for himself. 

    Notable Offenders: Most of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies feature at least one mutiny. Also, Treasure Island and Roman Polanski's Pirates. 

    739 votes
  • 2
    623 VOTES

    Pirates Made A Living By Raiding Coastal Towns

    Pirates Made A Living By Raiding Coastal Towns
    Photo: Treasure Island / RKO Radio Pictures

    The Trope: Pirates appear outside a town sitting on the coast. Soon they swarm over the sides of their ships, pouring into the streets to kidnap women and steal goods. Then they sail away to sea - until their next attack.  

    Why Is It Inaccurate? Pirates were frequent visitors to coastal towns, but often because they had wives in town. Turns out most coastal towns welcomed pirates who visited between sailings. On top of that, pirates specialized in raiding ships, not towns. Ships carried the spices, gold, and riches that pirates seized.

    Take, for example, Captain Thomas Tew, who seized several ships without a fight and captured a huge amount of wealth. Or Henry Every, who seized a single ship in the Red Sea and captured the equivalent of tens of millions of dollars worth of goods in two hours without losing a single man. Why raid coastal towns when poorly defended ships were much easier prey?

    Notable Offenders: In Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Jack Sparrow makes plans to "raid, pillage, and plunder" his guts out.

    623 votes
  • 3
    509 VOTES

    Pirates Could Be Only One Of Two Things: A Charismatic Roguish Scoundrel Or A Marauding Brute

    Pirates Could Be Only One Of Two Things: A Charismatic Roguish Scoundrel Or A Marauding Brute
    Photo: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl / Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

    The Trope: In movies, pirates typically fit into two categories: They're either charismatic scoundrels with a quick wit or dullard brutes who simply destroy everything. 

    Why Is It Inaccurate? Sure, some pirates were probably charismatic, and others were brutes, but most pirates were simply ordinary people. Many became pirates to pay their bills or escape forced naval service. Notorious pirates like Blackbeard and Captain Kidd made headlines in the papers, but the average pirate was just a guy trying to make a living.

    Notable Offenders: The Dread Pirate Roberts from The Princess Bride and Will Turner from the Pirates of the Caribbean represent charismatic pirates, while pretty much every "bad guy" pirate in a movie acts like a marauding brute. 

    509 votes
  • 4
    502 VOTES

    Women On Pirate Ships Were Wenches, Not Pirates

    Women On Pirate Ships Were Wenches, Not Pirates
    Photo: Cutthroat Island / MGM/UA Distribution Co.

    The Trope: A pirate crew included only men - except for a few wenches who might come on board to drink and carouse with the pirates. 

    Why Is It Inaccurate? Yes, most pirates were men. But pirate crews also included women who fought and plundered alongside their crewmates. Calico Jack's ship included two female pirates, Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Both typically wore men's clothes during battle, not the more revealing outfits pop culture's lady pirates wear. Being a woman could also offer pirates some degree of protection. When Calico Jack's ship was captured, Bonny and Read both saved their lives by claiming they were pregnant.

    A Viking pirate named Ladgerda took the life of her own cheating husband so she could be the captain. And the Chinese pirate captain Cheng I Sao commanded a fleet of 300 ships. 

    Notable Offenders: Wenches appear in nearly all pirate movies - and when women pirates appear, they're usually scantily clad (i.e., Cutthroat IslandPirates of the Caribbean). 

    502 votes
  • 5
    324 VOTES

    Pirates All Had Names Like Captain Hook

    Pirates All Had Names Like Captain Hook
    Photo: Hook / TriStar Pictures

    The Trope: Pirates sailed under names like Long John Silver, Captain Hook, and the Pirate King. Or, if all else failed, pirates just named themselves [Color]beard. 

    Why Is It Inaccurate? Some pirates did have cool names, like Blackbeard, Calico Jack, and Captain Kidd. But most pirates had pretty normal names - even pirate captains. Take, for example, Bartholomew Roberts, Francis Drake, and Henry Morgan. Blackbeard's real name was Edward Teach, and Captain Kidd was a guy named William Kidd. Same thing for Calico Jack, who added a nickname to his full name, John Rackham.

    And then there's the dread pirate Moses Butterworth, arrested for piracy in 1701. 

    Notable Offenders: Long John Silver from Treasure Island, Captain Hook from Peter Pan, the Pirate King from The Pirates of Penzance. 

    324 votes
  • 6
    447 VOTES

    Pirates Used Treasure Maps To Find Buried Treasure

    Pirates Used Treasure Maps To Find Buried Treasure
    Photo: Muppet Treasure Island / Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

    The Trope: A pirate pulls out a rolled up piece of paper, crinkled with age. When he unrolls it, he finds a map to unimaginable riches - and X marks the spot. 

    Why Is It Inaccurate? Most pirates didn't bury their loot at all. That's because much of their loot was food, cargo, and goods that would decay if you buried them on a deserted island. When pirates seized crops like tobacco and sugar, they simply sailed into a port to sell them. And gold was a less common pirate treasure than you might think.

    In fact, there are zero historical cases of pirates burying their treasure or creating a treasure map. 

    Notable Offenders: Muppet Treasure Island, The Goonies, Cutthroat Island, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, Treasure Island, and pretty much every other movie or TV show featuring pirates.

    447 votes