• Graveyard Shift

18 College Roommate Horror Stories That Will Make You Cringe

List RulesVote up the most gnarly dormitory tales.

Unwashed dishes, piles and piles of garbage, exile from shared spaces for hours due to nocturnal visitors... does anyone miss their college dorm experiences? Over on Reddit, people are sharing roommate stories from their college years, and it is a horror show. Vote up the stories that would have made you want to move back in with mom and dad. 

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  • 1

    'No Offense...'

    Posted by u/demonjuices:

    My first roommate. Oh, the memories.

    Very heavy, very socially awkward and definitely psychotic. Often mumbled to himself with shifty eyes, ate my food, and was either railing against the evils of religion out trying to get me to join the Army Of The Virgin or some other Catholic sect.

    He often lounged around in his tighty whiteys and refused to clothe himself if I had guests or girls over. He would just sit down and put a blanket over his lap. I walked in on him jackin' it or blaring p*rn a number of times, with which he used my tissues. He would also have long phone arguments with his girlfriend, who according to the wallet photo he had of her, was Hoggish Greedly from Captain Planet.

    The kicker for me was when he had a breakdown, he called the RA and a counselor in to talk with him while I was writing a paper. He was highly agitated and at one point said "I just looked over at demonjuices while he was asleep and thought to myself, 'I should just take out my knife and kill him and then myself.' No offense demonjuices." I was in the zone with the paper so I automatically replied "None taken" then did a double take as the horror dawned on me. Nonplussed eye contact with my RA.

    Noped out and moved to a different floor. This will probably be buried but hopefully someone can benefit from my past misery.

    601
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    Time to move home?
  • 2

    Classic Tom

    Posted by u/oren0:

    I lived in a triple; let's call one of my roommates Tom. Tom was a disgusting inconsiderate sex addict, and I'd venture once of the worst roommates anyone has ever had. Here are just a few examples:

    - Tom once had to pee during a poker game in our room. Rather than leave, he used a solo cup under the table, and then a second one that he urgently requested as the first was filling up. When he finished, he put the cups on his desk. Later, someone noticed that one of the cups was on its side and empty, over the side of the desk, having apparently spilled over his clothes on the floor.

    - Tom got sick of not being able to have sex with his girlfriend whenever he wanted, so he had this great idea to buy a tent from Target so he could have sex while we were in the room. His girlfriend wasn't having it, so he moved his mattress and the tent to a janitor's closet. Apparently a cleaning lady walked in on him sleeping naked there and he was forced to move back in.

    - We had two men's bathrooms on our floor, each with three showers. One shower belonged exclusively to Tom and his girlfriend. He kept a lawn chair in there, because "sitting is the luxurious way to shower." You can imagine what else went on in there, and why nobody else used it.

    - At the end of the year, we did a survey. Over half of the people on the floor had seen his [member] at least once.

    649
    14
    Time to move home?
  • 3

    She Was A Human Advertisement For Living Alone

    Posted by u/SafetyinLetters:

    This girl was honestly one of the most repellent people I've ever met. Her side of the room looked like an episode of Hoarders threw up on it. She once spilled an entire jug of juice on the floor, threw a towel over it and left it there piling more [stuff] on it for months while it grew an ever spreading patch of mold.

    She smelled horrible. She would shower but still smell immediately afterwards, which doesn't seem possible but she managed it.

    She would leave passive aggressive sticky notes on all of her belongings whenever she went home for the weekend (like "don't watch me!" on her tv, or "don't sit on me!" on her chair). I never messed with her stuff anyway though I was tempted whenever I saw those stupid notes.

    She'd have sex with her boyfriend while I was in the room and she thought I was sleeping but would make gagging sounds if I even kissed my boyfriend in her presence.

    She used words like "fustrated" and "sority" (she was also in a sorority), and "liberry." Thinking back, I'm kinda surprised I made it through first year without committing murder.

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    Time to move home?
  • 4

    He Left Dirty Dishes In His Bed

    Posted by u/krukson:

    He was leaving dirty plates in his bed, covered with his sheets. When he was going to sleep, he just kicked the plates and didn't bother to clean them.

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    11
    Time to move home?