Culture

The Best Horse Jokes 

Jack Napier
Updated October 13, 2018 1.3k votes 431 voters 9.2k views 18 items

List Rules Do you find each horse joke funny? Vote yay or neigh

Like hay, jokes are for horses. Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch to get you to read this list of the funniest jokes about the world's favorite four legged racing animals (sorry, ferrets). Every young girl dreams of owning a horse, and every young boy dreams of riding into the sunset on his trusty steed with a six shooter by his side. Blanket statement. Whatever, these are the funniest horse jokes.

Whether you prefer ponies, donkeys, or full blown race horses, there’s a joke on this list of horse humor for you. And if you’re not a horse person – then what are you doing reading this? If you’re really dedicated to your horse hate why not work on an alternate list of mean horse jokes and send it to somebody via Pony Express? For everyone else, this list of funny horse jokes is a great way to start your ride through the prairie, or to settle down after a long day of ropin’ dogies and geddyin’ up. Pull up a bale of hay, and maybe even some oats dig in to this list of the 25 funniest horse jokes.

Vote on your favorite good joke or pun about horses!
list ordered by
1
What Did The Horse Say W... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Did The Horse Say When It Fell?
"I've fallen and I can't giddyup!" 
2
What's The Quickest Way ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What's The Quickest Way To Mail A Little Horse?

Use the Pony Express. 

3
What Do Race Horses Eat?... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Do Race Horses Eat?
Fast Food
4
Where Do Horses Shop? is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
Where Do Horses Shop?
Old Neigh-vy! 
5
How Does A Horse From Ke... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
How Does A Horse From Kentucky Greet Another Horse?

With Southern Horspitality! 

6
What Do You Call A Baby ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Do You Call A Baby Donkey?
A burrito!
7
Where Do Horses Go When ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
Where Do Horses Go When They're Sick?
The horsepital! 
8
Did You Hear About The H... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
Did You Hear About The Horse With The Negative Attitude?
She always said Neigh 
9
What Do You Call a Horse... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Do You Call a Horse Wearing Venetian Blinds?
A zebra!
10
What Type Of Computer Do... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Type Of Computer Does A Horse Like To Eat?
A Macintosh 
11
When Do Vampires Like Ho... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
When Do Vampires Like Horse Racing?
When it's neck and neck. 
12
What Did The Waiter Say ... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Did The Waiter Say To The Horse?
I can't take your order. That's not my stable. 
13
What Is The Best Type Of... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Is The Best Type Of Story To Tell A Runaway Horse?

A tale of WHOA! 

14
Why Are Most Horses In S... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
Why Are Most Horses In Shape?

Because they are on a stable diet. 

15
What Is A Young Colts Fa... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Is A Young Colts Favorite Sport?

Stable Tennis. 

16
Why Did The Horse Eat Wi... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
Why Did The Horse Eat With His Mouth Open?
Because it had bad stable manners! 
17
What Did One Horse Say T... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
What Did One Horse Say To The Other Horse?
The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane. 
18
How Do You Get A Horse D... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Horse Jokes
How Do You Get A Horse Drunk?
Drink him under the stable!