The Best Horse Jokes

List Rules
Do you find each horse joke funny? Vote yay or neigh

Like hay, jokes are for horses. Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch to get you to read this list of the funniest jokes about the world's favorite four legged racing animals (sorry, ferrets). Every young girl dreams of owning a horse, and every young boy dreams of riding into the sunset on his trusty steed with a six shooter by his side. Blanket statement. Whatever, these are the funniest horse jokes.

Whether you prefer ponies, donkeys, or full blown race horses, there’s a joke on this list of horse humor for you. And if you’re not a horse person – then what are you doing reading this? If you’re really dedicated to your horse hate why not work on an alternate list of mean horse jokes and send it to somebody via Pony Express? For everyone else, this list of funny horse jokes is a great way to start your ride through the prairie, or to settle down after a long day of ropin’ dogies and geddyin’ up. Pull up a bale of hay, and maybe even some oats dig in to this list of the 25 funniest horse jokes.

Vote on your favorite good joke or pun about horses!
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  • What Did The Horse Say When It Fell?
    1

    What Did The Horse Say When It Fell?

    "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!" 
  • What Do Race Horses Eat?
    2

    What Do Race Horses Eat?

    Fast Food
  • What's The Quickest Way To Mail A Little Horse?
    3

    What's The Quickest Way To Mail A Little Horse?

    Use the Pony Express. 

  • Why Are Most Horses In Shape?
    4

    Why Are Most Horses In Shape?

    Because they are on a stable diet. 

  • Where Do Horses Go When They're Sick?
    5

    Where Do Horses Go When They're Sick?

    The horsepital! 
  • What Do You Call A Baby Donkey?
    6

    What Do You Call A Baby Donkey?

    A burrito!
  • How Does A Horse From Kentucky Greet Another Horse?
    7

    How Does A Horse From Kentucky Greet Another Horse?

    With Southern Horspitality! 

  • Where Do Horses Shop?
    8

    Where Do Horses Shop?

    Old Neigh-vy! 
  • What Is A Young Colts Favorite Sport?
    9

    What Is A Young Colts Favorite Sport?

    Stable Tennis. 

  • What Did The Waiter Say To The Horse?
    10

    What Did The Waiter Say To The Horse?

    I can't take your order. That's not my stable. 
  • What Type Of Computer Does A Horse Like To Eat?
    11

    What Type Of Computer Does A Horse Like To Eat?

    A Macintosh 
  • When Do Vampires Like Horse Racing?
    12

    When Do Vampires Like Horse Racing?

    When it's neck and neck. 
  • What Is The Best Type Of Story To Tell A Runaway Horse?
    13

    What Is The Best Type Of Story To Tell A Runaway Horse?

    A tale of WHOA! 

  • What Do You Call a Horse Wearing Venetian Blinds?
    14

    What Do You Call a Horse Wearing Venetian Blinds?

    A zebra!
  • Did You Hear About The Horse With The Negative Attitude?
    15

    Did You Hear About The Horse With The Negative Attitude?

    She always said Neigh 
  • What Did One Horse Say To The Other Horse?
    16

    What Did One Horse Say To The Other Horse?

    The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane. 
  • Why Did The Horse Eat With His Mouth Open?
    17

    Why Did The Horse Eat With His Mouth Open?

    Because it had bad stable manners! 
  • How Do You Get A Horse Drunk?
    18

    How Do You Get A Horse Drunk?

    Drink him under the stable!