Many of us have danced a waltz or two with the hot mess devil. Whether it's looking in your fridge only to find crusty cream cheese containers and Taco Bell hot sauce packets, or forgetting your date's name because you had too many whiskey sours the night you met, you've experienced that distinct moment of amusing self-loathing when you realize... you're officially a trainwreck. Worried your life is spiraling out of control? Here's a list of signs that you're hot mess to confirm or deny.
If you're a true trainwreck, it means you've crossed the line from being a broke college student or struggling freelancer and become a complete walking disaster. You may be able to muster up enough energy to head to the bar or the liquor store, but you probably can't remember the last time you got ready for bed because your nightly routine consists of stumbling into bed with your clothes on.
Have you ever forgotten a date's name and had to sneak off to the bathroom to search through text threads? Have you had a frozen food and cooking wine binge while looping Dirty Dancing on your couch? What about dancing on a bar at the club with your shoes off, because if they were on, you just wouldn't feel as comfortable up there? If you've answered yes to any of these questions (all of them signs you're a train wrek), you may want to do some reevaluating because you're flirting with the definition of being an official hot mess.
You decide for yourself! How many items on this list sound all too familiar? If you find yourself nodding your head and experiencing a series of party flashbacks, don't worry, you're not doomed. If you can navigate your way out of a random's apartment you can probably steer yourself away from the midnight express to trainwreck town.
Your Grocery Store Outfit = Sweatpants
You've Cried in the Shower on Many Occasions
Your Idea of Balancing Your Budget Is Receiving a Low Balance Alert
You Consistently Look Like the "Before" Picture in a "Before & After" Photoshoot
You Can Fit a Whole Cupcake In Your Mouth
Your Friends Have Stopped Trying to Give You Advice
You Only See Your Neighbor When You're Coming Home and They're Leaving for Work
You've Had to Rifle Through Your Text Messages to Remember a Date's Name
You Stopped Grocery Shopping Because Your Food Will Inevitably Expire Before Eating It
Your Local Wine Store Clerk Knows You by Name
You Regularly Wear Clothes Out of Your Dirty Laundry Hamper
Your Ice Cube Trays Are Always Empty
You've Dated a Married Person With Little to No Shame
You've Lost Your Phone More Than Twice in the Last Six Months