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Culture Signs You're a Trainwreck  

Lauren Slocum
5.7k votes 254 voters 2.3k views

Many of us have danced a waltz or two with the hot mess devil. Whether it's looking in your fridge only to find crusty cream cheese containers and Taco Bell hot sauce packets, or forgetting your date's name because you had too many whiskey sours the night you met, you've experienced that distinct moment of amusing self-loathing when you realize... you're officially a trainwreck. Worried your life is spiraling out of control? Here's a list of signs that you're hot mess to confirm or deny.

If you're a true trainwreck, it means you've crossed the line from being a broke college student or struggling freelancer and become a complete walking disaster. You may be able to muster up enough energy to head to the bar or the liquor store, but you probably can't remember the last time you got ready for bed because your nightly routine consists of stumbling into bed with your clothes on. 

Have you ever forgotten a date's name and had to sneak off to the bathroom to search through text threads? Have you had a frozen food and cooking wine binge while looping Dirty Dancing on your couch? What about dancing on a bar at the club with your shoes off, because if they were on, you just wouldn't feel as comfortable up there? If you've answered yes to any of these questions (all of them signs you're a train wrek), you may want to do some reevaluating because you're flirting with the definition of being an official hot mess. 

You decide for yourself! How many items on this list sound all too familiar? If you find yourself nodding your head and experiencing a series of party flashbacks, don't worry, you're not doomed. If you can navigate your way out of a random's apartment you can probably steer yourself away from the midnight express to trainwreck town.

1
108 74
Your Grocery Store Outfit=Sw... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Grocery Store Outfit = Sweatpants

2
99 84
You've Cried in the Shower on ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Cried in the Shower on Many Occasions

3
88 88
Your Idea of Balancing Your Bu... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Idea of Balancing Your Budget Is Receiving a Low Balance Alert

4
73 87
You Consistently Look Like the... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Consistently Look Like the "Before" Picture in a "Before & After" Photoshoot

5
66 90
You Can Fit a Whole Cupcake In... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Can Fit a Whole Cupcake In Your Mouth

6
62 91
Your Friends Have Stopped Tryi... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Friends Have Stopped Trying to Give You Advice

7
58 85
You Only See Your Neighbor Whe... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Only See Your Neighbor When You're Coming Home and They're Leaving for Work

8
67 106
You've Had to Rifle Through Yo... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Had to Rifle Through Your Text Messages to Remember a Date's Name

9
58 100
You Stopped Grocery Shopping B... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Stopped Grocery Shopping Because Your Food Will Inevitably Expire Before Eating It

10
55 95
Your Local Wine Store Clerk Kn... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Local Wine Store Clerk Knows You by Name

11
55 98
You Regularly Wear Clothes Out... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Regularly Wear Clothes Out of Your Dirty Laundry Hamper

12
47 95
Your Ice Cube Trays Are Always... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Ice Cube Trays Are Always Empty

13
46 99
You've Dated a Married Person ... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Dated a Married Person With Little to No Shame

14
44 95
You've Lost Your Phone Mor... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Lost Your Phone More Than Twice in the Last Six Months

Signs Someone Is Talking About You Behind Your Back

15
38 83
No One Questions Why You Wear ... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
No One Questions Why You Wear Shades Inside Anymore

16
37 81
You've Found Plates or Take-ou... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Found Plates or Take-out Boxes Under Your Bed

17
43 97
You've Peed in the Sink at a B... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Peed in the Sink at a Bar Because Your Friend Is Using the Toilet

18
32 78
You've Passed Out With a Half-... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Passed Out With a Half-Eaten Cheeseburger In Your Hand

19
40 99
Your Nieces/Nephews Have Comme... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Nieces/Nephews Have Commented on How You're Always Single

20
30 81
You Often Wake Up and Wonder H... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Often Wake Up and Wonder How You Got There

21
32 87
You Polish Off Your Roomie'... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Polish Off Your Roomie's Bottle of Cooking Wine

39 Ways to Repel a Potential Girlfriend

22
34 99
You've Ever Had Crackers and H... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Ever Had Crackers and Hot Sauce for Dinner

23
32 103
Your Fridge Consists of Condim... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Fridge Consists of Condiment Packets and Old Take-out Boxes

24
20 69
You've Used Up All of Your... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Used Up All of Your Sick Days at Work to Go to Miami for Spring Break

25
26 87
You're That Chick at the C... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You're That Chick at the Club Who Walks Around with No Shoes On

26
22 78
You Realize You're Eating the ... is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Realize You're Eating the Last Hot Pocket and Have a Mini Anxiety Attack

27
26 90
You Wake up Next to Someone an... is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Wake up Next to Someone and Can't Remember Their Name for a Minute

28
16 60
You've Had to Turn Your Underw... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Had to Turn Your Underwear Inside Out

All The Signs You're Dating A Basic Bitch

29
18 70
You Can't Even Remember the La... is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Can't Even Remember the Last Time You Called Your Mom

30
21 82
You Have to Ask Your Date Subt... is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Have to Ask Your Date Subtle Questions About Who They Are (and How You Met)

31
23 89
You Refer to Vodka Tonics as &... is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Refer to Vodka Tonics as "Mommy Waters" Unironically

32
19 80
You've Brought a Bottle of Win... is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Brought a Bottle of Wine and a Bag of Fried Chicken to a Movie Theater

33
15 66
You've Fallen Asleep in the Ba... is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Fallen Asleep in the Bathroom at a Bar

34
16 74
You Keep Spare Clothes at Seve... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Keep Spare Clothes at Several Friends' Houses Because You Know You'll End Up Crashing There

35
22 98
All Your Take Out Spots Know Y... is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
All Your Take Out Spots Know Your Order Just by Looking at Caller I.D.

17 Signs You Are Being Cheated On

36
15 82
You Cancel Plans at the Last M... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Cancel Plans at the Last Minute Because You Love the Drama

37
11 65
You Still Actively Use A Snugg... is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Still Actively Use A Snuggie

38
9 63
Your Best Friends=Your Barte... is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Best Friends = Your Bartenders

39
8 64
Your Friends Have Surprised Yo... is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Friends Have Surprised You With Several Interventions

40
9 73
Ke$ha Made You Realize That Ja... is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Ke$ha Made You Realize That Jack Daniels Makes for Great Toothpaste

41
9 79
You've Watched Dirty Danci... is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Watched Dirty Dancing More Than Twice in the Last Month

42
7 66
You've Said the Words, ... is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Said the Words, "Yaaaas Kween!" Completely Unironically

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43
7 74
Most of Your Underwear and Swe... is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Most of Your Underwear and Sweaters Are Leopard Print

44
6 68
Your Local Bartender Calls You... is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Local Bartender Calls You to Remind You to Come Close Your Tab

45
6 71
Dina and Lindsay Lohan Are You... is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Dina and Lindsay Lohan Are Your Spirit Animals

46
6 75
You Have Your Mother and Your ... is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Have Your Mother and Your Drug Dealer on Speed Dial - and Neither of Them Are Taking Your Calls

47
6 80
You've Ever Found a Slab of Ra... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You've Ever Found a Slab of Raw Meat on Your Couch After Nursing a Hangover

48
4 67
Your SnapChat is Inexplicably ... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your SnapChat is Inexplicably Full of Dick Pics

49
4 73
You Already Have "Drunk L... is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
You Already Have "Drunk Lock" Downloaded on Your Phone

50
3 67
Your Friends Have Had to Babys... is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list Signs You're a Trainwreck
Your Friends Have Had to Babysit You Via Skype When You're Wasted