If you've ever been on a vacation, a business trip, or needed a place to spend the night with someone you're not supposed to, chances are you've been to a hotel. But do you know what really happens at hotels? For instance, how well do they really clean your rooms? And are they secretly going through all your stuff? Some hotel workers decided to spill the beans online, and when hotel employees tell all, we get to pass the best ones onto you.
So if you want to know why you should bring a black-light on your next hotel visit, check out these true stories from hotel workers.
They Know What You're Watching
I wish people understood how detailed the pay-per-view TV systems are.
"OH? You want to dispute that $15 charge because you didn't even watch it? Let me see.... oh yes... You ordered Debby Does Dallas and watched for 35 minutes the first time... and then 17 minutes the second time..."
They Know A Cheater When They See One
We know you're cheating on your wife. Don't get me wrong, we don't care. But don't bother making up a back-story when you're paying in cash one-to-two times a week in the town you live in.
They Keep Notes On You
We keep extensive notes on you. Occupation, kids, anything we can use to tailor our interactions specifically to you.
We also keep extensive notes on every dick-ish thing you've ever done. Scream at me or my coworker? I'm writing a long-ass note in your profile while you're still yelling at me. Then when you try to spin it in your post-stay survey, I can point my manager to the detailed and objective note I wrote about why you're an a**hole.
But we also put in the nice comments. :)
They Know The Dirty Sh*t You're Up To
We know you're looking at porn. You're not going to sit there and tell me that you just kept ordering Disney movies by accident. You kept going through the pornos and couldn't decide which one to jerk-off to.
Pro tip: the internet. You can watch free porn on the internet
When I worked night audit, I used to call them out on it. "Well sir, I see you watched Back-Door Sluts 9 for 15 minutes. Unfortunately, if it was more than three minutes in, we cannot issue a refund."
Or, I had a guy who would just meet up with call girls all the time. But he didn't want us to judge him, so he'd actually go to the atm and take out cash with her, and then pretend to have conversations with her like "It was good seeing you again! Let's have lunch tomorrow" or something. As if to say, "Nah, that's not a hooker. We're totally good friends and I, uh, owe her $200, in cash."