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Here's How A Professional Exorcist Will Purge The Demons From Your Body

Updated September 23, 2021 7.1k views11 items
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It may seem like exorcisms only exist in movies and television shows of questionable reality, but "professional exorcist" is a real job title that an increasing number of clergy proudly claim, but you're not alone if you're wondering exactly what professional exorcists do to get this odd job. It takes years of training beyond priesthood to become a professional exorcist, and those in the profession face danger with every new mission they take on.

With that in mind exorcisms should not be attempted by amateurs, and certainly not by anyone reading this list. This is not an instruction manual, merely an attempt to entertain. So, please, do not try this at home, but read on for a great introduction on how exorcisms work and how to get the devil out of your house - be gone, demon!

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  • Get Some Friends And Get To A Church

    Once the possession is recognized, close friends and family are gathered and the victim is moved to a church as soon as possible. Unless the person is sick or for some reason unable to be transported, a church is the best place for an exorcism; in addition to being an overall sacred place (the "home field" essentially), the proximity to sacraments is also of significance when dealing with a malevolent force. As for those who witness the exorcism, they should be few in number, but are a necessary part of the ritual. Performing an exorcism alone can open up the priest himself to possession. If the victim is a woman, those present (except for the priest) should also be women due to the havoc that impure thoughts by witnesses could wreak if detected by the demon.

  • Name The Beast

    Photo: Eliphas Lévi / Wikimedia Commons / public domain

    From the Babadook to Beetlejuice, it is very common for demons to gain power through their names. One of the exorcists first steps in being able to rid the body of the demon is to find out its name, and therefore be able to proceed with the right steps. Just like physicians have to diagnose an illness before they can treat it, exorcists have to diagnose the demon in order to fully understand what to expect, as different beasts, like different pathogens, cause different symptoms. Unfortunately, once the demon is named it is likely to start acting out, and "as for all jesting, laughing, and nonsense on the part of the evil spirit - the exorcist should prevent it or contemn it."

  • Call For The Help Of God...

    This part's kind of obvious, but God really is one of the most important entities in an exorcism. Not only should the exorcist be praying, but "the subject, if in good mental and physical health, should be exhorted to implore God’s help" as well.

  • ...And Literally Fifty Saints

    Photo: Anonymous painter / Wikimedia Commons / PD-Art

    Also called the Litany of Saints, this lengthy list of pretty much every holy power out there is sure to give the exorcist the strength that they need to rid the victim of their unholy guest. Despite the name, the litany doesn't just include saints, but also names archangels, prophets, bishops, and monks. Invoking holy powers is also an important part of confronting demons in the bible, and, in this matter especially, it's best not to stray from tradition. In addition to exorcisms, the litany is also a part of ordinations, processionals, and other special occasions when its important to have holy backup.