The bonds stepparents form with their lawful progeny can be delicate. Not all stand-in authority figures are as wicked as the parents on TV, but even earnest stepmoms and dads struggle to relate to their significant others' children.
Redditors talked about the ongoing adventure that is raising someone else's child. Some love their stepkids wholeheartedly; others wish they'd never joined the blended family. However, even in the darkest of situations, it's hardly possible to blame the users for their complicated emotions.
They Expect Their Stepchildren To Be Incarcerated In The Future
From Redditor /u/Stepmonster1:
DH's children are 18 and 16. Known them for over 10 years.
I have nothing positive to say about either of them and wouldn't spend time with them if you paid me. I fully expect to see one or both of them in jail for sexual offences at some point.
She Thinks Her Stepchildren Are Too Devoted To Their Biological Mom
From Redditor /u/the_ether_layer:
SSs 12 and 15, been in their lives for eight years. I am so over their sh*t right now, the 15 yo especially. He keeps complaining about me to his mom (I say "mean things" and "hate him" apparently). The 12 yo isn't so bad at the moment but they both make me [mad] by their complete and utter slavish devotion to their piece of sh*t mother, their complete and utter lack of intellectual curiosity, their laziness, and their willingness to do things that hurt their dad. They aren't bad kids by any definition but I find them incredibly frustrating. I love their father and I realize that he wouldn't be who he is if he didn't have them, but [gosh]. If I'd known what I was getting into I don't know if I would have done it. Don't judge me.
She Worries About Her Stepdaughter
From Redditor /u/kittyjam:
SD11, have lived with her full time for three years. She is very kind, respects my authority, loves me and tells me she does. Her mom is a whackjob which you can see from my post history. SD has anger/temper problems that have gotten much, much better (mostly due to us changing how we react to her).
I do everything for her and I am not sure why. I just do it without thinking. I worry... about her future - worry she won't get into a good school, worry she will get bullied, worry she will get in trouble or fall in with the wrong crowd (like my SO did), worry she will turn out like her mother, worry she doesn't get enough sleep or exercise, worry I am too hard on her. I worry she will decide to hate me and want to go live with her mom one day.
She's Mad Her Three-Year-Old Stepdaughter Cries A Lot
From Redditor /u/ayeeeray:
I try so so hard to love my future step daughter but she’s horrible.
My bf was a single dad for the first two years of her life so she never heard the word no before me. He doesn’t make her use her eating utensils, won’t make her sleep in her own bed, gives her chocolate milk all... day, she screams and cries for hours and hours (she’s three btw) throws the worst fits I’ve ever seen in my life (I’ve been around a lot of children) and she’s super behind.
He has tried a little since I’ve came around and have given a bit of advice (I’m not [trying to sound conceited]) but sometimes I feel like he only disciplines when I’m around and when I’m not she gets away with everything.
I want to love her, and I want to be a family, and have more kids with this man, but all these things make it so hard.