So you want to host a séance, but you don’t want to have one of those lame high school séances where everyone drinks too much blackberry wine and pukes all over your Ouija board. You want to host a real séance, with candles and stuff. Seance directions can be hard to come by - after all, you are dealing with the occult, and real books about magic aren’t just hanging around your local Barnes and Noble - so these séance steps will hopefully put you on the right track to hosting a successful chat with a spirit. Once you’re able to make contact with something beyond the grave, you can help your friends speak to relatives who have moved on, or maybe you can even sell your soul to the devil.
If you’re wondering how to have a séance, then you’ve come to the right place. The séance instructions included here will get you communing with the dead and learning secrets from the nether-realm in no time. You might even be able to figure out how to correctly play “light as a feather, stiff as a board” if you follow them correctly - with the occult, there’s no end to things that you can achieve.
Whether you’re wondering how to host a séance or how you should act at a séance that you’ll be attending in the near future, there’s something here for you to learn. As long as you remember to follow these steps correctly you should be A-OK when you meet a spirit from beyond the grave.
How Should You Treat A Spirit That Arrives At Your Party?Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
There isn't one guide to hosting a séance that doesn't mention humoring a ghost to an embarrassing amount. If you meet a ghost who is worried about someone cleaning off their headstone then go clean off their headstone. If they want to tell you a joke then listen to the joke. Just be a good host, you know? If you anger the spirit that you find during your séance, there's no way of knowing what kind of wrath you can incur. Worst case scenario, you can end up embarrassed and with a haunted house. On the lighter side, you could probably end up with an annoying ghost roommate.
What If Things Get Weird?Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
Here's a séance tip: things are going to get weird. When you go to a seéance, you have to have an open mind to whatever message ends up coming through. If you don't allow yourself to enjoy whatever happens during the magical moment, then you're either going to block anything from happening, or your negative energy is going to affect whatever you end up reaching through the board. Remember, if things begin to go wrong mid-séance, you have the power to keep things from tipping over into being a straight-up horror movie. As long as you stay posi everything should be fine.
How Long Should The Séance Go On?Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
When is it time to call it a day with a séance? That really depends on how things are going with the magical part of the evening. If your conversation with the spirit is motoring along, then feel free to keep the conversation going as long as you feel it should; think of it like the length of a phone call with a good friend. If the spirit is non-responsive or antagonistic, don't feel bad about cutting the conversation short. When you feel the spiritual energy in the room naturally dissolve, you can call it day and then decompress with a glass of wine. Worst case scenario, if someone totally freaks out because of a negative experience, you can always escort them out of the room or just cut the séance short.
How Do You End A Séance?Photo: flickr / CC0
Let's pretend you've had a great séance. The spirit is witty and charming, you're asking hot fire questions, and everyone feels like they're getting something out of the experience: how do you properly end the session? Once things die down, thank the spirit(s), tell them goodbye, and then offer a prayer or blessing to the being to which you just spoke. Even if you had a so-so experience, you should take a few minutes to decompress from your experience and gather your thoughts before you move on with your evening.