Admit it, you’ve thought about selling your soul to the devil once or twice. Maybe you needed some extra cash, or you just wanted to skip the TSA line at LAX — there’s no judgment here. But selling your soul to Satan isn’t as easy as it sounds. There are a lot of steps that you have to take to ensure the safety of you and your soul, and you’ve got to make sure that you get what you want. It’s like any legal transaction, but with the most evil entity in the universe.
In the interest of doing a good deed, these guidelines break down exactly how to sell your soul to the Devil, provide some examples of famous people who have sold their soul, and warn you of the pitfalls that await you on your journey to being really awesome.
The obvious question here is: how do you sell your soul? It may seem simple enough, but it’s actually a multi-faceted question. There’s a step-by-step process that has to unfold, much like any legal situation. Satan isn’t some chump that just fell off a turnip truck, he’s been making deals for souls for longer than you’ve been alive, and you need to be prepared for whatever he’s going to throw at you. If you do things the wrong way, you could end up possessed and you definitely don’t want that.
How do you make a deal with the devil? Keep reading to find out.
Where Does One Find The Devil?
If you want to sell your soul, the first thing you have to do is find the devil. The most well-known story of someone selling their soul is that of Robert Johnson, a bluesman who went to a crossroads at the junction of Highways 61 and 49 in Clarksdale, Mississippi. There, he allegedly traded his soul away for the promise of a lifetime of easy money, women, and fame. But if you can't get down to Mississippi to find the devil there, where else should you go?
If you're in the Northeast, you can check out the Seven Gates of Hell, which can allegedly be found in the woods off Trout Run Road in Hellam Township, Pennsylvania, or maybe even the other Gates of Hell, a collection of drains in Clifton, New Jersey. According to folklore, there's a room at the bottom of the drains where you're confronted by a glowing human skull before you see the devil.
If you don't find the devil in the first place you look, take comfort in the fact that the dark lord probably knows you're looking for him somewhere and he'll get to you eventually.
How Do You Summon The Devil?
So maybe you don't want to go on a cross-country road trip to find out if Satan is hanging out in the middle of nowhere. Can you set up a house call? According to Dr. Rex Touth, all you have to do is "be alone in your room, close your eyes and say, 'Satan, I summon you. I have a quality soul to sell if the price is right.' It may take dozens, even hundreds of tries but at all costs, avoid sounding desperate or needy."
Remember folks, make the devil want to want you.
How Can You Propose A Deal?
Once you're face to face with the devil, how to do you let him know what you want? Do you say, "Let's do this soul-selling thing, bro?"
An alleged pact with the devil in Pignerol, Italy, in 1676 went something like this:
Lucifer, you are bound to deliver to me immediately 100,000 pounds of money in gold! You will deliver me the first Tuesday of every month 1,000 pounds. You will bring me this gold in current money, of such kind that not only I, but also all those to whom I may wish to give some, may use it.
And so on and so forth. But is that how you do things in the 21st century? Should we be so impolite to the entity that's providing all of our hopes and dreams?
One of the easiest ways to propose a deal for your soul would be to bring it up when you call upon the devil. It may be advantageous to you to mention your desire to sell your soul in whatever seance you use to call upon Old Scratch so he knows what he's getting into.
Can You Protect Yourself?
When selling your soul to the devil, there are a couple of ways you can protect yourself, legally and physically. Legally, as with all important documents, you should have a notary present to make sure all the Is are dotted and the Ts are crossed. And you've got to work out the presentation for what you want in advance so you don't end up asking for something that you don't want, or asking for something and getting the wrong thing.
Physically, if you call the devil to you, it's best to play things safe and stand inside a pentagram that you've drawn on the floor for the entirety of the ritual or you'll open yourself up to some very negative juju.