Don't lie. At some point or another, you've all wondered how to summon the devil, and whether a sensual dalliance with the Dark Lord wouldn't make life just a little better (or at least naughtier). Maybe you want more money, more sex, or to be president. Guess what, kids? The Devil can help with all of that, and more.
There are plenty of ways to summon Satan - which one is right for you? Are you the kind of person who likes to get dressed up and follow a lot of instructions? Or do you prefer rituals and chants to invoke Satan in a graveyard that last an entire week? No matter your preference, there’s something for you on this easy to understand list of how to summon Satan. If you're worried about burning yourself on a flaming upside down crucifix, getting lamb's blood on your best set of robes, or your parents walking in while you're joining genitals with a hypnotized witch in the middle of a pentagram of candles, worry no more: there are plenty of alternatives.
Perhaps you're asking yourself, "Why summon el diablo? What's the point in opening yourself to the overwhelming sensual power of 666 Satan daddy? Isn't that a Pandora's box best left closed?" Not to those who have seen real photos of the Devil and want to know more. Or those with an innate attraction to the anti-Christ, who wish to call out to the Morning Star to sell their souls or understand the true nature of a life of unbridled freedom, free from the dictatorial yoke of patriarchal monotheism. Maybe you just want to figure out how to summon Lucifer to impress your crush, or frighten your enemies. Those are all valid reasons. So now you need a guide to summoning the Devil. After all, you don’t want to call the wrong demon, spirit, or deity; or, worse, perform a ritual incorrectly and have nothing happen at all.
Before you try manifesting the corporeal form of unbridled lust for all things, there are a few things you should understand: (1) Once you've conjured the Prince of Darkness, you will no doubt be marked by his unholiness; (2) Have a list of things you want from the King ov Hell, because he won't be happy if you don't have a reason for having summoned him (your reason could be as simple as wanting three legs and two wangs).
There are myriad ways to get Satan on the line, the easiest of which is probably the Invocation of Satan, a simple chant. You should perform the Invocation in as occult and magical a manner as possible, to increase its efficacy through ambiance.
Put on your black robe, draw a salt circle, light some black candles, and chant:
"Oh hear the Infernal Names of :Abaddon, Kali, Sekhmet, and Dagon Drink from your chalice.Turn clockwise, pointing your athame, cane, or sword at each quarter and call forth the Princes of Hell: Satan from the north, Lucifer from the West, Belial from the south, and Leviathan from the east."
Charles Babbage, a 19th century English mathematician and philosopher, wanted to summon Satan so badly, he put together every ritual he could find to bring Old Scratch to London. After doing extensive research, the polymath cut his finger, drew a circle on the floor in blood, and read the lord's prayer backwards.
He didn't invoke the Devil, either because he was in a "weakened frame," as he puts it, or because he didn't have enough faith in the power of Satan.
If you're going to use this method, make sure you've had a large meal and you've got enough blood in your body to draw a complete, connected circle. That could be where Babbage went wrong.
Aleister Crowley, the most popular practitioner of left hand magic, and the grandfather of chaos magic, created a ritual for summoning your Holy Guardian Angel entitled Theurgia Goetia Summa, (Congressus Cum Daemone), though often abbreviated to Liber Samekh. Section C of the ritual involves summoning Satan. As per Crowley's definition. your Holy Guardian Angel is not necessarily a guardian angel in the Christian sense, but rather the manifestation of your most divine form, which may be demonic, depending on the true nature of your being.
It's important to keep in mind that Crowley's ritual is time consuming, complex, very powerful, and has to be performed correctly; rumors abound of people in the vicinity of Crowley's mysterious house in Scotland almost losing their minds when Crowley summoned evil spirits during one such dark ritual.
The prayer begins: "I invoke Thee, the Terrible and Invisible God: Who dwellest in the Void Place of the Spirit." There are a lot of guttural bellows, so get ready to give your lungs a work out, and seriously prepare yourself for something insane to happen, if you manage to perform the ritual properly.
": --- AR-O-GO-GO-RU-ABRAO - Thou spiritual Sun! Satan, Thou Eye, Thou Lust! Cry aloud! Cry aloud! Whirl the Wheel, O my Father, O Satan, O Sun!
SOTOU - Thou, the Saviour!
MUDORIO - Silence! Give me Thy Secret!
PhALARThAO - Give me suck, Thou Phallus, Thou Sun!
OOO - Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust! Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust! Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust!
AEPE - Thou self-caused, self-determined, exalted, Most High!"
There's a lot of information to parse through here, and it's best taken in while having it read to you by the spookiest man who ever existed, Vincent Price. On the second LP of his double album Witchcraft and Magic: An Adventure In Demonology, Price breaks down how to summon Satan and some lesser demons, and he does it in that classic Vincent Price drawl we all know and love.
Price provides plenty of superfluous information in his lengthy guide, though most of it is fun and colorful. His instructions are rife with asides, anecdotes, and descriptions of the types of things you'll need to call the Devil, which include a robe (white, black, red, it doesn't matter, but you need to be nude beneath it), a wand, and bloodstones. You'll also need gold and silver coins to throw the King ov Hell off your scent if he gets too sassy. For the love of Satan, don't use base metals. He will know, and you'll regret it.
Once Price finishes providing you with an Amazon wishlist of items, he gets to ancient rites. When you're ready, you speak aloud, "I invoke and command thee oh cursed spirits..." and then you call upon every name of the Devil (which he tells you). Follow with, "Come upon this place and comply with my commands without no deception!" If you perform Price's ritual correctly, you'll be bossing around the Devil in no time.
Skip ahead to about 53:00 in the video to hear it all.