People Are Sharing Their Stories Of Being Mistaken For Employees, And It’s Hilarious

From Redditor /u/BookwyrmsRN

This happened several years ago. I was the night time charge nurse over the ICU. I’d just finished a 12 hour shift at my hospital that had turned into a 14 hour shift because of a rapid response right before shift change. (Patient responded well). I was exhausted and had to return for a 4th shift in 9 hours. All I wanted were some items to drop in the slow cooker so I’d have something to eat when I got up tonight.

I stopped at a well known big box store that sells groceries, clothes, electronics.. the works.

I’m wearing royal blue scrubs, a name badge with a big RN under it and forgot to take my stethoscope off so it’s around my neck. The employees here... well... don’t.

As I’m walking towards the store I see an elderly couple struggling to load a large box in their SUV parked at the front of the store. And I mean old. 90+ Shaky hands. Teetering around with limited mobility. The kind I see with a med list 3 pages long... no way would his hips take the weight without snapping... and I’ve worked enough tonight.

I approach quickly and address the female half of the couple offering help. It was gladly accepted and I got their TV loaded with very little difficulty. It was more cumbersome than heavy. I’m chatting with the woman who is explaining it’s a gift for their son and her husband hadn’t wanted to wait for help. (I’d wondered why an employee wasn’t helping.). That’s when it happened.

I will be RN. She will be EB for entitled b*tch.

EB: hey. Hey!

Startled, We stop our conversation and look over. It’s a lady in her 50s dressed in a cheap looking beige pant suit with a get your manager hairstyle standing about 15 feet away with a hand on her overly broad hip.

EB: IF you are ABOUT done. I need help over here.

She then points to her cart with two boxes of bookshelves.. some assembly required. I realize she thinks I work here.

RN: Oh Sorry. I don’t work...

EB: You are already making me late! Just get it done! ...and DON’T scratch my paint up.

The elderly lady and I exchange looks of disbelief and I try again.

RN: I don’t work he...

EB: Just get it done!

She then steps away from her cart to grab her purse grumbling about “F*cking idiots” and is digging for her keys when the cart rolls further away and one wheel goes off the curb. The entire uneven load causes the cart to topple over. I instinctively jump forward to try to prevent everything from falling...

I was unsuccessful. EB, who has now turned to see her particle board bookshelves spilled out on the cement. Corners of the boxes smashed and one has torn open with a few pieces and packaging now exposed. EB completely loses her sh*t.

EB: What the f*ck! You f*cking moron! Pick them up! God d*mnit. F*cking... I’m going to have you fired! You owe me new bookshelves! And I’m late!

At this point. I’m done.

RN: Pick them up yourself! I Don’t Work Here!

I then turn to go inside when I feel her grab my sleeve and try to yank me around. I jerk my sleeve out of out of grip and turn to face her now violently red face. She opens her mouth to start screaming again but I put my finger in her face and say...

RN: No! Don’t touch me! Shut the hell up! I do not work here, and even if I did. I’d quit before I help you clean up your sh*t!

EB stands there speechless. Mouth opening and closing. Sputtering in shock that I’ve dared raise MY voice at HER.

That’s when the manager and an employee come out. As EB sees the manager and finds her voice.

EB: Are you the manager? This man damaged my bookshelves and is refusing to pay for them.

I just stare in shock. Seriously?! Having realized that a man in bright blue scrubs with a stethoscope and a big RN badge really doesn’t work here. Instead of apologizing, she chooses to double down on the craziness and now accuses me of breaking her stuff.

Before I can voice my denial the elderly gentleman I’d helped earlier steps in and explains the situation to the manager. EB is still voicing complaints but the manager realizes the real situation and apologizes to me and the couple.

I’m still standing by watching angrily as the manager deals with EB and inspects the bookshelves. They are not damaged. He offers her two new boxes but EB is now done with the whole situation. She says no. She’s already to late because of me. Just glares over at me and says to the manager

EB: Just load them. I’m already late enough because of this!

The manager and employee then lift the boxes up and get them wedged into the ladies car.

As I shake my head and go to enter the store I’m stopped by the elderly lady I’d helped earlier.

Lady: Sir. Thank you so much for helping us with the TV. I’m so sorry some people are so rude.

She then reaches for my hand to shake. As she folds both her fragile hands around mine, I can feel something in her palm she’s giving me.

Lady whispering: Don’t look yet. Wait till she leaves.

I slide the package into my scrub pocket and Lady walks away. EB then gets in her car and (without apologizing or thanking anyone) peels out and drives away.

I finally enter the store to grab my food items and when I reach in my pocket I pull out a plastic bag with a bunch of screws and hardware.

I realize immediately that the sweet little old lady took advantage of the commotion to take the hardware out of EB’s ripped box.

I couldn’t believe it. I had the biggest grin on my face as I did my shopping. And I have a new petty revenge hero to idolize.

From Redditor /u/vita_est

I work at a hospital as an ER nurse, which means when I start at 7am, by nine in the morning all the f*cks I possess are gone and by the end of my 12.5 hour shift I’m pretty much just done with people in general (don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but fighting Darwinism can be exhausting).

So after a rather grueling shift I stopped by the grocery store for dinner. I’m tired, and feeling super lazy at this point so even though I’m only grabbing a couple of things I use a regular cart (coz, you know, I can lean on it). I do my shopping, pay for my goods and head out to my truck. Just to inform, no khakis were involved here. Store employees wear dark brown slacks, white collared shirts and ties. I was wearing an Incredible’s scrub top (yes the animated movie, no you can’t judge me) and bright blue scrub pants.

After loading my groceries I, of course, return my wheeled crutch (ahem, shopping cart) to the corral and return to my truck when a harpy with a RBF that would make Louis from Malcom in the Middle proud screams across the lot.

(M) Me (H) Harpy

H: Boy! I’m done you can take my cart now!

M: Huh?

(I know I look young but, really? Boy?)

H: Come over here and take my cart!

M: yeah I don’t work here, sorry.

H: just do your d*mn job and take my cart!

M: that’s gonna be a hard no from me, sorry.

I start (again) back towards my truck. Harpy at this point decides to thrust her cart towards me. It rolls (as carts with wheels are wont to do) and to me, it’s like a train wreck. I want to look away but I can’t, I’m mesmerized by the free range movement of this cart as it runs right into a Jaguar... a nice clean one... with dealer plaques still on where the license plates should be... and a woman who totally looked like a Karen (you know the type) just getting out...

The Karen obviously starts screaming and hollering as only a Karen can. Harpy is trying to blame me for not running out to catch the cart. I’m trying very hard not to start laughing. I finally get back to my truck as Harpy is screaming at me to stop because this is my fault coz I should have collected her cart in the first place. The last thing I heard before closing my door and driving off was the Karen screaming at Harpy about how “he’s f*cking wearing scrubs! How could any idiot think he works here?”

I think this was the first time I’ve ever rooted for a Karen.

From Redditor /u/Crimson6alpha

I was out at a local grocery, just doing a basic food run.

While walking past the milk coolers I grabbed the last two pint bottles of chocolate milk. As I let the door to the cooler close and put the bottles in my cart I notice a rather hefty woman standing a tad too close to me. As I start walking away I hear her say “where are you taking those?”

Unaware she was talking to me I kept walking. Next thing I know my upper arm is grabbed and pulled. Now for reference, I’m about 6’2”, built like a brick sh*thouse, and generally a fairly bristly person (so I’m sure my demeanor didn’t help the situation.) At first I just sort of stared at her almost surprised that she had the gall to act this way with a stranger that looks like I do.

HW: I said where are you taking those?

Me: what?

HW: what are you doing with those chocolate milks?

Me: buying them?

HW: ok well first off, lose the attitude, and second, I’m sure you’re supposed to let customers have them and not take them for yourself.

Now at this point I will point out that it took me some time to realize that she thought I worked there because the uniform for this store is red shirts and khaki pants. I was wearing tan pants, a red white and blue flannel, and a brown jacket.

Me: what are you talking about?

HW: those were the last two milks. Give them to me.

Me: oh f*ck off.

I then walk away a few aisles down to look at soups. I step a few feet away from my cart, so as not to block other people trying to come through the aisle, when I see movement in my periphery. I figure it’s her and decide it’s best to just laser focus on the soup and ignore her. After waiting for a bit and sensing her leave, I go back to my cart and immediately notice my milks are gone. I’m now in a sort of mood where the next person that talks to me could be Tom Hanks and I’d probably be rude.

I continue my shopping when the woman comes walking over with an employee, I’m assuming a manager. She shoves a one of her sausage fingers in my face and shouts about how “this is the employee that took my groceries and told me to f*ck off. I want him fired NOW.”

Now that I had realized what was going on I just about lost it:

Me: I don’t f*cking work here you moron.

Manager: woah, hey now.

HW: see what I mean? Fire him.

Manager: ma’am he doesn’t work here.

HW: then why did he say he did?!

Me: I DIDNT!

HW: you’d better watch your tone my husband is-

At this point the woman was cut off (though I am genuinely curious as to what her husband was. An eggplant farmer? As big of a jerk as her? The world may never know) by another store employee, this one wearing a black shirt and khaki pants, although the shirt had the store logo on it. I believe he was their asset protection employee.

AP: ma’am may I look in your bag?

HW: what? No. Why?

Manager: what’s up Greg?(not his real name)

AP: was watching the monitors, saw her take something out of this guys cart and put it in her bag.

At this point I start laughing.

HW: (to me) screw you! (To the employees) I was going to pay, I just didn’t want him trying to take them back!

I start to walk up to the front so I can pay and leave. As I get there I notice a couple local police officers walking in and an employee point them offer to the guy in the black shirt who is now walking the woman up front as well. As they walk past me towards a back office I hear one of them explaining to the woman who is now in hysterics that “yes ma’am just hiding them in your purse constitutes retail fraud.”

I then left, wanting nothing more to do with this lady. Moral of the story: play stupid b*tch games, win stupid b*tch prizes.

From Redditor /u/poweredbyweirdhumor

My husband is a peaceful giant. He is 6 ft 5 and can look quite imposing even though he really is a teddy bear. Never stressed or aggressive, never overreacting our raising his voice, just a peaceful giant.

So here we are, at the grocery shop, with our 6 mo baby shopping for food and whatnot. It is winter in Canada (so, you know, cold) and we are both wearing our coats. The kid is fussy and nothing really calms him except when we carry him in our arms. It is my turn and my husband is going back and forth gathering what we need and bringing the items to our cart when the banshee-from-hell (BFH from now on) got in his face (figure of speech, she was like 5 ft 2) and started yelling at him.

BFH: ARE YOU DONE? You've been helping her FOREVER and I NEED HELP! NOW!

Husband: (with his smooth everything-is-good kind of tone) I'm so sorry (we're Canadians), but I'm afraid I do not work here...

BFH: BULLSH*T! I just saw you help HER shopping. NOW, you help ME! AND YOU DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME!

Husband: But...

BFH: STOP! Don't talk to me unless it is to thank me. Are we clear?

My husband sees me boiling and about to interfere but makes a sign that's says he is going to deal with it. He then calmly look at her with a smile.

BFH: (smuggling) GOOD! Now, help me grab the last (item I don't remember, probably some king of condiment) on this high shelve. WHY IN HELL you people always put the stuff I need so high is BEYOND me. Now, chop-chop!

My husband grabs the item, but instead of giving it to her, he keeps it just a tiny bit out of her reach. He looks at it and then at me.

Husband: (grining) Honey, do we need (condiment)?

Me: (catching on) Well, as a matter of fact, yes! We do!

Lady: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU GIVE HER MY STUFF! IT'S MY STUFF! GIVE IT TO ME!!!

Super slowly, my husband gets closer to the lady. He is so imposing that she calms down immediately. With the biggest of smile and the most polite voice ever, he says to her:

Husband: Again, I do not work here... but thank you for showing me (condiment). We were about to forget it.

And with that, he puts the item in our cart, grabs the baby and together, we left. In the background, the lady howling some profanities. All three of us smiling. I love my husband.

From Redditor /u/dtlove87

So this just happened and I’m actually kind of proud of it.

A bit of backstory. I stay with my kids during the day and work nights. My husband and I have opposite shifts, so we can save on daycare. Because of this I dont usually go grocery shopping during the week because it can be difficult getting my kids through the store. (My daughter sometimes has meltdowns in big crowds. She doesn’t have any sensory issues according to her doctor, we think she just doesn’t like the noise or just gets tired easy and that makes her fussy).

I remembered that I was suppose to get party supplies for work today because on of the ladies there is going on maternity leave and I had volunteered to help set up a party for her. So off to the store we all go and everything goes surprisingly well. I’m getting ready to check out at the self scanner when it happens. I feel a tap on my shoulder followed by the “excuse me“ that we all know and dread. So I turn around. My mistake.

Despite the tone used, the lady seemed relatively normal (no Karen haircut). Until she started talking.

Lady: “Excuse me! This won’t scan.”

I look around and she is definitely talking to me. Now I would normally help, even if someone is rude because, why not? However her tone and pitch was harsh enough that my daughter started clinging to my arm. My son just doesn’t care lol.

Lady: “exxxccccuuuusssse meeeee! Hello? A little help?”

I’m just focused on my daughter, rubbing her back because I feel her start to freak out. How this lady thought I could help is beyond me. I don’t work there and was dressed like I literally rolled out of bed. Fortunately the self checkout attendant shows up and asks what the problem is.

Lady “this won’t scan and this person (gesturing vaguely in my direction) is no help.” Lady turns back to me while the attendant tries to ring up the item for her. “You are so rude! Are you deaf or something?”

At this point I still hadn’t said a word to her, and the idea hit me. Like a freaking beautiful rainbow wrapped in lightening. I’m not deaf, but me and my kids are learning ASL (American sign language). I just started learning it so I can ask basic questions and can sign the baby shark song (dont ask, my kids love it).

Smiling the biggest freaking smile I could manage, I start signing. It makes no sense. I’m basically saying ‘how are you? Do you want food? What is your name? I know a little sign. baby shark song’ lol

I swear I never saw someone lose color in their fast so fast in my entire life. It was glorious! She got her items, paid and practically ran out of there. The attendant trying her best not to laugh.

I turned to the attendant and said cheerfully “Have a nice day!” She and I shared a good laugh and I went home.

Ps my daughter is fine. She probably just got scared

From Redditor /u/pdxcranberry

My buddy was taking me out to a fancy French restaurant as a treat and I was pretty gussied up. I really enjoy getting dolled up and wearing a beautiful dress to enjoy a wonderful meal. However, the city in which I live (Portland, Oregon) has a reputation for diners dressing down, even in fine dining restaurants. It’s a running joke among locals. You’ll go into a restaurant where a couple will easily drop a couple hundo on one meal and over half the room are wearing hiking clothes or yoga pants. I only mention this because the staff tends to be better dressed than the clientele. I was wearing all black with my hair in an elaborate up-do and chandelier earrings. I think the all black is what started everything.

This particular restaurant has a well-known (and frankly down-right foxy) chef who typically works at a station expoing and plating where everybody can see him. It’s also near the door to the only washroom and the server station. It’s a huge restaurant and with only the one washroom, there was a bit of a line. I waited and waited and at one point I think the chef and I exchanged a few pleasantries. When I was next in line a middle-aged man in a Portland-issue plaid button up and jeans got in line behind me. He had cranky energy and was shifting from foot-to-foot. It didn’t seem like he had to go badly, just that he was impatient. I had been waiting much, much longer than him and found his constant sighing and scoffing irritating.

When it was my turn I reached for the door only to have this awful man push in front of me and nearly knock me over shoving himself into the open door. I was so taken aback I just sort of froze and said, “excuse me I was next.” Which is when he wheeled around started YELLING about how he wasn’t about to wait while, “some waitress changed her tampon.” And then yelled at the chef that he should have a staff bathroom, because it’s “disgusting” that the staff use the same bathroom as guests and implied he might not pay for his meal because of it.

I stood there in absolute shock (and a full bladder) while this man took care of his business. Clearly taking his sweet time out of spite. Maybe. Something about his personality made me think he hadn’t taken a normal sh*t in years. The chef apologized to me and a waiter who had been at the server station commiserated.

I decided f*ck it. I DON’T work here, but even if I did there is no reason to be treated like I’m not a human. Seriously, dude. You’re wearing muddy Teva sandals and suddenly acting like we’re in f*cking Downton Abbey.

When he came out I used my entire body to block his path out of the bathroom and gave him a stern, but quiet lecture about how a) I actually wasn’t an employee and b) there is nothing wrong with sharing the bathroom with the staff and told him that he had ruined what should have been a special night out.

Again, this all happened in full view of the entire kitchen staff and several members of the wait staff. I hadn’t realized it at time, but this jerk was actually seated directly next to my friend on the banquet. His female dining companion was sitting next to me. I had been gone easily twenty minutes and my friend was confused and annoyed. I figured at that point I had nothing to lose, so I loudly explained what happened while gesturing to the awful man and making pointed eye contact with the woman. The man looked furious and the woman just silently glared at him.

After a few minutes the waiter wordlessly dropped their check. They were mid-meal and hadn’t been offered dessert. It was clearly a very pointed, but polite, “f*ck you, get out” from the staff after his rant. They paid without incident and as they got up to leave he tried to put his hand on her shoulder only to have her jerk away and say, “don’t touch me.” TFW you realize your partner is a complete jacka** who got you thrown out of a restaurant for screaming about tampons.

We got a cheese plate and glasses of sparkling rose as a gift from the restaurant. Cheers!