Subreddit r/IDontWorkHereLady is full of stories where people get mistaken for employees. While the stories in the subreddit vary in degrees of frustrating and wholesome, we've compiled some of the most hilariously frustrating stories down below. Vote up the best ones!
Helped An Old Couple And Left With A Grin
From Redditor /u/BookwyrmsRN
This happened several years ago. I was the night time charge nurse over the ICU. I’d just finished a 12 hour shift at my hospital that had turned into a 14 hour shift because of a rapid response right before shift change. (Patient responded well). I was exhausted and had to return for a 4th shift in 9 hours. All I wanted were some items to drop in the slow cooker so I’d have something to eat when I got up tonight.
I stopped at a well known big box store that sells groceries, clothes, electronics.. the works.
I’m wearing royal blue scrubs, a name badge with a big RN under it and forgot to take my stethoscope off so it’s around my neck. The employees here... well... don’t.
As I’m walking towards the store I see an elderly couple struggling to load a large box in their SUV parked at the front of the store. And I mean old. 90+ Shaky hands. Teetering around with limited mobility. The kind I see with a med list 3 pages long... no way would his hips take the weight without snapping... and I’ve worked enough tonight.
I approach quickly and address the female half of the couple offering help. It was gladly accepted and I got their TV loaded with very little difficulty. It was more cumbersome than heavy. I’m chatting with the woman who is explaining it’s a gift for their son and her husband hadn’t wanted to wait for help. (I’d wondered why an employee wasn’t helping.). That’s when it happened.
I will be RN. She will be EB for entitled b*tch.
EB: hey. Hey!
Startled, We stop our conversation and look over. It’s a lady in her 50s dressed in a cheap looking beige pant suit with a get your manager hairstyle standing about 15 feet away with a hand on her overly broad hip.
EB: IF you are ABOUT done. I need help over here.
She then points to her cart with two boxes of bookshelves.. some assembly required. I realize she thinks I work here.
RN: Oh Sorry. I don’t work...
EB: You are already making me late! Just get it done! ...and DON’T scratch my paint up.
The elderly lady and I exchange looks of disbelief and I try again.
RN: I don’t work he...
EB: Just get it done!
She then steps away from her cart to grab her purse grumbling about “F*cking idiots” and is digging for her keys when the cart rolls further away and one wheel goes off the curb. The entire uneven load causes the cart to topple over. I instinctively jump forward to try to prevent everything from falling...
I was unsuccessful. EB, who has now turned to see her particle board bookshelves spilled out on the cement. Corners of the boxes smashed and one has torn open with a few pieces and packaging now exposed. EB completely loses her sh*t.
EB: What the f*ck! You f*cking moron! Pick them up! God d*mnit. F*cking... I’m going to have you fired! You owe me new bookshelves! And I’m late!
At this point. I’m done.
RN: Pick them up yourself! I Don’t Work Here!
I then turn to go inside when I feel her grab my sleeve and try to yank me around. I jerk my sleeve out of out of grip and turn to face her now violently red face. She opens her mouth to start screaming again but I put my finger in her face and say...
RN: No! Don’t touch me! Shut the hell up! I do not work here, and even if I did. I’d quit before I help you clean up your sh*t!
EB stands there speechless. Mouth opening and closing. Sputtering in shock that I’ve dared raise MY voice at HER.
That’s when the manager and an employee come out. As EB sees the manager and finds her voice.
EB: Are you the manager? This man damaged my bookshelves and is refusing to pay for them.
I just stare in shock. Seriously?! Having realized that a man in bright blue scrubs with a stethoscope and a big RN badge really doesn’t work here. Instead of apologizing, she chooses to double down on the craziness and now accuses me of breaking her stuff.
Before I can voice my denial the elderly gentleman I’d helped earlier steps in and explains the situation to the manager. EB is still voicing complaints but the manager realizes the real situation and apologizes to me and the couple.
I’m still standing by watching angrily as the manager deals with EB and inspects the bookshelves. They are not damaged. He offers her two new boxes but EB is now done with the whole situation. She says no. She’s already to late because of me. Just glares over at me and says to the manager
EB: Just load them. I’m already late enough because of this!
The manager and employee then lift the boxes up and get them wedged into the ladies car.
As I shake my head and go to enter the store I’m stopped by the elderly lady I’d helped earlier.
Lady: Sir. Thank you so much for helping us with the TV. I’m so sorry some people are so rude.
She then reaches for my hand to shake. As she folds both her fragile hands around mine, I can feel something in her palm she’s giving me.
Lady whispering: Don’t look yet. Wait till she leaves.
I slide the package into my scrub pocket and Lady walks away. EB then gets in her car and (without apologizing or thanking anyone) peels out and drives away.
I finally enter the store to grab my food items and when I reach in my pocket I pull out a plastic bag with a bunch of screws and hardware.
I realize immediately that the sweet little old lady took advantage of the commotion to take the hardware out of EB’s ripped box.
I couldn’t believe it. I had the biggest grin on my face as I did my shopping. And I have a new petty revenge hero to idolize.Good story?
She Threw Her Cart At A Jaguar
From Redditor /u/vita_est
I work at a hospital as an ER nurse, which means when I start at 7am, by nine in the morning all the f*cks I possess are gone and by the end of my 12.5 hour shift I’m pretty much just done with people in general (don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but fighting Darwinism can be exhausting).
So after a rather grueling shift I stopped by the grocery store for dinner. I’m tired, and feeling super lazy at this point so even though I’m only grabbing a couple of things I use a regular cart (coz, you know, I can lean on it). I do my shopping, pay for my goods and head out to my truck. Just to inform, no khakis were involved here. Store employees wear dark brown slacks, white collared shirts and ties. I was wearing an Incredible’s scrub top (yes the animated movie, no you can’t judge me) and bright blue scrub pants.
After loading my groceries I, of course, return my wheeled crutch (ahem, shopping cart) to the corral and return to my truck when a harpy with a RBF that would make Louis from Malcom in the Middle proud screams across the lot.
(M) Me (H) Harpy
H: Boy! I’m done you can take my cart now!
(I know I look young but, really? Boy?)
H: Come over here and take my cart!
M: yeah I don’t work here, sorry.
H: just do your d*mn job and take my cart!
M: that’s gonna be a hard no from me, sorry.
I start (again) back towards my truck. Harpy at this point decides to thrust her cart towards me. It rolls (as carts with wheels are wont to do) and to me, it’s like a train wreck. I want to look away but I can’t, I’m mesmerized by the free range movement of this cart as it runs right into a Jaguar... a nice clean one... with dealer plaques still on where the license plates should be... and a woman who totally looked like a Karen (you know the type) just getting out...
The Karen obviously starts screaming and hollering as only a Karen can. Harpy is trying to blame me for not running out to catch the cart. I’m trying very hard not to start laughing. I finally get back to my truck as Harpy is screaming at me to stop because this is my fault coz I should have collected her cart in the first place. The last thing I heard before closing my door and driving off was the Karen screaming at Harpy about how “he’s f*cking wearing scrubs! How could any idiot think he works here?”
I think this was the first time I’ve ever rooted for a Karen.Good story?
He Was A Big, Peaceful Giant
From Redditor /u/poweredbyweirdhumor
My husband is a peaceful giant. He is 6 ft 5 and can look quite imposing even though he really is a teddy bear. Never stressed or aggressive, never overreacting our raising his voice, just a peaceful giant.
So here we are, at the grocery shop, with our 6 mo baby shopping for food and whatnot. It is winter in Canada (so, you know, cold) and we are both wearing our coats. The kid is fussy and nothing really calms him except when we carry him in our arms. It is my turn and my husband is going back and forth gathering what we need and bringing the items to our cart when the banshee-from-hell (BFH from now on) got in his face (figure of speech, she was like 5 ft 2) and started yelling at him.
BFH: ARE YOU DONE? You've been helping her FOREVER and I NEED HELP! NOW!
Husband: (with his smooth everything-is-good kind of tone) I'm so sorry (we're Canadians), but I'm afraid I do not work here...
BFH: BULLSH*T! I just saw you help HER shopping. NOW, you help ME! AND YOU DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME!
BFH: STOP! Don't talk to me unless it is to thank me. Are we clear?
My husband sees me boiling and about to interfere but makes a sign that's says he is going to deal with it. He then calmly look at her with a smile.
BFH: (smuggling) GOOD! Now, help me grab the last (item I don't remember, probably some king of condiment) on this high shelve. WHY IN HELL you people always put the stuff I need so high is BEYOND me. Now, chop-chop!
My husband grabs the item, but instead of giving it to her, he keeps it just a tiny bit out of her reach. He looks at it and then at me.
Husband: (grining) Honey, do we need (condiment)?
Me: (catching on) Well, as a matter of fact, yes! We do!
Lady: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU GIVE HER MY STUFF! IT'S MY STUFF! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Super slowly, my husband gets closer to the lady. He is so imposing that she calms down immediately. With the biggest of smile and the most polite voice ever, he says to her:
Husband: Again, I do not work here... but thank you for showing me (condiment). We were about to forget it.
And with that, he puts the item in our cart, grabs the baby and together, we left. In the background, the lady howling some profanities. All three of us smiling. I love my husband.Good story?
She Stole His Milk
From Redditor /u/Crimson6alpha
I was out at a local grocery, just doing a basic food run.
While walking past the milk coolers I grabbed the last two pint bottles of chocolate milk. As I let the door to the cooler close and put the bottles in my cart I notice a rather hefty woman standing a tad too close to me. As I start walking away I hear her say “where are you taking those?”
Unaware she was talking to me I kept walking. Next thing I know my upper arm is grabbed and pulled. Now for reference, I’m about 6’2”, built like a brick sh*thouse, and generally a fairly bristly person (so I’m sure my demeanor didn’t help the situation.) At first I just sort of stared at her almost surprised that she had the gall to act this way with a stranger that looks like I do.
HW: I said where are you taking those?
HW: what are you doing with those chocolate milks?
Me: buying them?
HW: ok well first off, lose the attitude, and second, I’m sure you’re supposed to let customers have them and not take them for yourself.
Now at this point I will point out that it took me some time to realize that she thought I worked there because the uniform for this store is red shirts and khaki pants. I was wearing tan pants, a red white and blue flannel, and a brown jacket.
Me: what are you talking about?
HW: those were the last two milks. Give them to me.
Me: oh f*ck off.
I then walk away a few aisles down to look at soups. I step a few feet away from my cart, so as not to block other people trying to come through the aisle, when I see movement in my periphery. I figure it’s her and decide it’s best to just laser focus on the soup and ignore her. After waiting for a bit and sensing her leave, I go back to my cart and immediately notice my milks are gone. I’m now in a sort of mood where the next person that talks to me could be Tom Hanks and I’d probably be rude.
I continue my shopping when the woman comes walking over with an employee, I’m assuming a manager. She shoves a one of her sausage fingers in my face and shouts about how “this is the employee that took my groceries and told me to f*ck off. I want him fired NOW.”
Now that I had realized what was going on I just about lost it:
Me: I don’t f*cking work here you moron.
Manager: woah, hey now.
HW: see what I mean? Fire him.
Manager: ma’am he doesn’t work here.
HW: then why did he say he did?!
Me: I DIDNT!
HW: you’d better watch your tone my husband is-
At this point the woman was cut off (though I am genuinely curious as to what her husband was. An eggplant farmer? As big of a jerk as her? The world may never know) by another store employee, this one wearing a black shirt and khaki pants, although the shirt had the store logo on it. I believe he was their asset protection employee.
AP: ma’am may I look in your bag?
HW: what? No. Why?
Manager: what’s up Greg?(not his real name)
AP: was watching the monitors, saw her take something out of this guys cart and put it in her bag.
At this point I start laughing.
HW: (to me) screw you! (To the employees) I was going to pay, I just didn’t want him trying to take them back!
I start to walk up to the front so I can pay and leave. As I get there I notice a couple local police officers walking in and an employee point them offer to the guy in the black shirt who is now walking the woman up front as well. As they walk past me towards a back office I hear one of them explaining to the woman who is now in hysterics that “yes ma’am just hiding them in your purse constitutes retail fraud.”
I then left, wanting nothing more to do with this lady. Moral of the story: play stupid b*tch games, win stupid b*tch prizes.Good story?