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20 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts

Updated February 14, 2020 44.3k votes 8.4k voters 2.5m views21 items

List RulesVote for your favorite recollections of drunken fun gone terribly wrong

Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking unable to remember your 80 proof-antics from the night before? Sometimes when you aren’t sure exactly what happened, playing it cool seems like the best idea. At least, that is, until one of your more lucid friends steamrolls your claims of "I wasn’t that drunk" by recalling one of your more embarrassing exploits. A really good friend will even reassure you that your most shameful moment is forever branded into everyone's memory but your own. 

These funny drinking texts recall with humiliating clarity the adventures of over-indulgent drinkers everywhere, who had momentarily dared to hope for the best. Below, you’ll find their claims of having it mildly together the night before utterly dashed by their friends’ all too clear memories of their drunken escapades. 

Vote up the best "I wasn't THAT drunk," texts below!

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  • 1

    How to Convince a Drunk Not to Drive

    How to Convince a Drunk Not to is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 20 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts
    Photo: Pinterest
    2,562
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  • 2

    Better Safe than Sorry, Right?

    Better Safe than Sorry, Right? is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 20 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    2,962
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  • 3

    Yer a Wizard, Harry

    Yer a Wizard, Harry is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 20 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts
    Photo: Pinterest
    2,170
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  • 4

    Not the Best Way to Start a Heart-to-Heart With Dear Old Dad

    Not the Best Way to Start a He is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 20 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts
    Photo: Pinterest
    2,168
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