20 of the Best "I Wasn't That Drunk" Texts

Voting Rules
Vote for your favorite recollections of drunken fun gone terribly wrong

Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking unable to remember your 80 proof-antics from the night before? Sometimes when you aren’t sure exactly what happened, playing it cool seems like the best idea. At least, that is, until one of your more lucid friends steamrolls your claims of "I wasn’t that drunk" by recalling one of your more embarrassing exploits. A really good friend will even reassure you that your most shameful moment is forever branded into everyone's memory but your own. 

These funny drinking texts recall with humiliating clarity the adventures of over-indulgent drinkers everywhere, who had momentarily dared to hope for the best. Below, you’ll find their claims of having it mildly together the night before utterly dashed by their friends’ all too clear memories of their drunken escapades. 

Vote up the best "I wasn't THAT drunk," texts below!

Photo: Juan Camilo Trujillo / flickr / CC-BY 2.0

  • 1. How to Convince a Drunk Not to Drive

    How to Convince a Drunk Not to Drive
    Photo: Pinterest
    2,143 votes
  • 2. Better Safe than Sorry, Right?

    Better Safe than Sorry, Right?
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    2,472 votes
  • 3. Yer a Wizard, Harry

    Yer a Wizard, Harry
    Photo: Pinterest
    1,843 votes
  • 4. Not the Best Way to Start a Heart-to-Heart With Dear Old Dad

    Not the Best Way to Start a Heart-to-Heart With Dear Old Dad
    Photo: Pinterest
    1,870 votes
  • 5. SpongeBob is Much Sneakier Than We Thought

    SpongeBob is Much Sneakier Than We Thought
    Photo: Pinterest
    1,473 votes
  • 6. Well, She Probably is Now

    Well, She Probably is Now
    Photo: Pinterest
    1,581 votes