The Most Impractical Sexy Halloween Costumes Ever
The tradition of the "sexy" Halloween costume has become a holiday cliché, but no one ever stops to consider the full dimension of absurdity that these costumes encompass. Some concepts, like "sexy cop," boggle the imagination automatically, by force of their pure and fundamental oxymoronic nature. Others, like "sexy firefighter" or "sexy executioner" may require deeper reflection before the true roots of their ridiculousness can be unearthed and contemplated.
None of us are short of examples when it comes to the most ridiculous sexy Halloween costumes of all time – few things are goofier than a suggestive Big Bird costume. But what about the more mundane examples? Have you ever really paused to consider how perplexing the idea of a sexy lumberjack is? If not, perhaps the following examples will give you pause.
- 1640 VOTES
To be totally fair, this costume offers only slightly less coverage than the official uniforms of the Lingerie Football League. It's impossible to avoid thinking about that scene in A League of Their Own where somebody slides into home in a miniskirt and spends the rest of the game moaning in pain and being coated in iodine, though.
- 2571 VOTES
It's unclear whether this person is supposed to be a doctor or a nurse, but we hope she doesn't have to lean too far forward to measure her patient's heart rate with that stethoscope, or she's liable to twist an ankle and fall over. (If she doesn't contract some horrible disease first – aren't doctors supposed to wear rubber gloves and masks for this type of thing?)
- 3503 VOTES
Exposed thighs and open flames just seem like a bad combination.
- 4424 VOTES
Chopping down a tree in spike-heeled knee boots sounds complicated. Plus, this outfit ups your chances of winding up covered in bug bites and sunburns.
- 5501 VOTES
Girl scouts are children. Enough said.
- 6409 VOTES
Aren't S.W.A.T. team members supposed to wear protective gear? On the upside, at least this outfit has sleeves.