The 2000s brought us a treasure trove of dating shows, some wonderful, other wonderfully bad. Thanks in part to the eclectic variety of wildly inappropriate things said on MTV's Parental Control, the show is now fondly remembered as one of the best dating shows of the era, and some argue it's one of the best original MTV shows of all time.
With the 2017 announcement of a new season of Parental Control, the time is right to look back on the show's glorious history. From the colorful characters, to the oft adorable parents stiffly delivering their lines to the camera, to the endless waves of drama, the show features plenty of entertaining aspects. However, perhaps the greatest triumph of Parental Control is the myriad quotes so inappropriate they'd make the Jersey Shore crew cringe.
DJ David Palmer's Dad Gives Young Women The Heebie-Jeebies
A Season 1 episode features a DJ named David Palmer, whose parents, Larry and Esther, are divorced. Perhaps because of this, David's middle-aged dad feels comfortable letting loose his inner creepy old man. He asks the prospective dates — all young women in their 20s — to do something gross:
My ex-wife here wants us to find a really classy gal for our son, but I'd rather have one that's a little naughty. Could you read me a selection from this book and could you do it in your sexiest voice for me? I know that won't be hard for you.
While the exact title of the book is not disclosed, the excerpts sound way too nasty to be coming from the quaint looking hardcover shown on-screen.
Kathleen Coaches Her Son On How To Go For For The Boobies
Jeremy's mom Kathleen is a teacher, both professionally and recreationally. When Lauren — her choice for her son's date — is on her way over, Kathleen gives Jeremy some motherly advice, right in front of his girlfriend, Briana. She begins by explaining how to kiss, before saying, "When you undo that bra and her boobies plop out. Blah blah! Go for the gold."
Eddie's Parents Cyril And Maria Are Both Kind Of Terrible
When Cyril and Maria begin talking about their son Eddie's girlfriend Tessa, it's easy to overlook the jabs they take at her. At one point, they say they want their son to have "Steak" not "sloppy joes." That's kind of gross, but it plays like bad old people humor, which is generally banal. However, when they start interviewing romantic candidates for their son, they prove they might just be terrible people.
At one point, Cyril asks the women what nicknames their exes gave them. One young lady answers, "Cookies and Cream." Cyril then asks, "Sweet to eat or something?" to which she responds, "I don't know, dad, that's a pretty personal question you're asking there."
Maria might not be any better. The next girl claims her boyfriend used to call her "Fatty," and Maria apparently concurs, offering alternatives nicknames for the poor girl, like "Chunky."
Tony And His Son Eric Both Made Their Love Of Brittani's Boobs Quite Plain
The moment Brittani tells Eric's parents about her history as a swimsuit model, it's pretty obvious Eric's dad is going to pick her to date his son. He turns to his wife and says, "We're gonna have to see her in one of those swimsuits." Eric proves he didn't fall far from the tree when he speculates about who his pop might have picked, saying, "Dad likes to go with a lot of sex appeal. Like father like son." With such a glowing start, it's not exactly shocking when Eric asks Brittani if her breasts are real on their date.