12 Things Most People Don't Know About The Swinging Lifestyle

Couples in committed, non-monogamous relationships – also referred to as "swinging" or "the lifestyle" – are often thought to be part of a tiny underground community that never escaped the weirdo world of the 1970s sexual revolution. In reality, people in the lifestyle are more prevalent than you might think (there are even a ton of celebrities into the lifestyle). There are plenty of surprising facts about the lifestyle that indicate participants have stronger, healthier marriages than conventional couples. 

At one time, swing couples were relegated to private clubs and secret parties, but now they're online and meeting up for adventures in bedrooms (and other places) all across the country. While they might be having better bedroom activities than you, not all of the facts about swinging the public "knows" are true. They're not all old and bored, and you'd probably be hard-pressed to find any sporting terrible leisure suits or questionable mustaches. Most people into the lifestyle are professionals with families and have very successful, happy marriages.

There are rules and regulations in the lifestyle, though. If you're deciding whether or not to dip your toe into the river, you might want to get all your facts straight. Make sure you study up before taking the plunge, and you just might find yourself a happy participant in the provocative world of non-monogamy.

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  • They Have Their Own Language

    Like any other group, people in the lifestyle have their own language and terminology. People outside of the lifestyle are referred to as "vanilla" in the swing community. This secret vernacular is useful when you want to discuss the lifestyle in mixed company, or when introducing couples to one another in a public place that doesn't need to know about your private life. As a swing couple, it's probably a good idea to know if potential partners are in a LTR (long term relationship) and if they're HWP (height/weight proportionate). 

  • They Have Way More Climaxes Than Vanillas

    Up to 25% of the female population have trouble reaching climax. Men, especially men over the age of 50, can also have significant problems reaching climax.

    In a survey of 1,200 people in the lifestyle, however, it was reported that less than 5% of women and 1% of men reported never reaching climax while swinging in the past year, and that doesn't even take into account their bedroom life with their committed partner outside of the lifestyle. It's safe to say, then, that people in the lifestyle are reaching completion more frequently than their monogamous counterparts. 

  • There's A Lot More Of Them Than You Think

    While the world of consensual non-monogamy might seem like a very small community, studies show that around as many as 10% of married couples have tried swinging. If you live in America, that means there's a good chance one of your boring neighbors is having much more fun in the bedroom than you.

  • There Are Different Kinds Of Swinging

    Most lifestyle enthusiasts don't meet up for fleshy bacchanalian free-for-alls. Like any relationship, people have different boundaries and desires. Some couples have bisexual women and men, and some are straight, only swinging with members of the opposite gender. Some couples are only into soft swapping, which doesn't include actual intercourse and focuses more on touching and kissing.

    Other couples are into watching, while some are exhibitionists. There is also closed swinging, where partners swap and go to separate rooms, and open swinging which means everyone shares the same space. 

  • Key Parties Aren't Really A Thing

    Most people associate swinging with '70s porn star mustaches, shag carpet, and doughy old people. The legend persists of mysterious events where all the men throw their car keys into a bowl, and each woman picks a set at random at the end of the night and goes home with the man attached to the key.

    While these events might still take place sporadically, they're not the norm. The stigma that people in the lifestyle are deviants, and the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, really put the brakes on the whole phenomenon. The practice today is much more safe and selective. 

  • They Go On Couples Dates

    Most couples meet one another for dinner and drinks, not at wet and wild orgies like you see in the movies. After connecting online or at a meet and greet, swinging couples usually take their attraction to the next step: the double date. You know how tough it is to find one person you like and have a successful first date? Multiply that by four (everyone has to be on the same page), and you'll get an idea of how hard it is to find compatible people in the lifestyle. Regardless, couples in the lifestyle often find it well worth the pressure.