funny Real Criminals Who Happen to Have the Most Ironic Names Ever  

Ranker Crime
22.1k votes 5.6k voters 4.8M views 16 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the criminals with the most ironic names that best fit their crimes.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Shakespeare had it right about a lot of things, if cats were called dogs and dogs cats or even... and with cantaloupe we wouldn't know the difference. Naming people however... well names matter. Take for example the name Edward Cocaine. There aren't many versions of that childhood that would result in a well balanced adult. And in fact, these kinds of crazy names sometimes lead to ironic crimes committed by the individuals in question.

Beyond the fact that the people with these hilariously bad names endured them, they also seemed to inadvertently make them their mission statements. How else do you explain Conor P. Fudge working at a Cold Stone and his subsequent ice cream thievery? Or Daniel Noody exposing himself? These ironically named criminals were arrested and charged (or at very least accused) of some awful, but oddly appropriate, crimes.

These are the best no-way-that's-his-name-and-he-did-THAT criminal names of all time. Vote up the most ironic criminal names below!
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Crystal Metheney


Crystal Metheney is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Real Criminals Who Happen to Have the Most Ironic Names Ever
Photo: Polk County Sheriff

Arrested for: Shooting a missile into an occupied car. Record also contains a long list of drug possession charges. 

First of all... it's amazing how two ordinarily innocuous names when COMBINED equal crystal meth (much like how cooking homemade crystal meth is often done with normally innocuous day to day items). Beyond that, where did she get a missile launcher!? Does this happen normally? Are we only hearing about it because Crystal Meth here did it?

Source: Huffington Post
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Donald Duck


Donald Duck is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Real Criminals Who Happen to Have the Most Ironic Names Ever
Photo: Cleveland 19

Charged with: Various DUI charges, possession of marijuana, and drug paraphernalia charges. 

Donald really took it hard when Disney started focusing all their attention on those Avengers movies. He hasn't been the same since.

Source: Examiner
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Bud Weisser


Bud Weisser is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Real Criminals Who Happen to Have the Most Ironic Names Ever
Photo: STL Mugshots

Accused of: Burglary and theft, trespassing and resisting arrest.

Arrested in 2014 at just 18 years old, he was able to be charged as an adult but not to legally enjoy a nice cold Budweiser. And just to get in some more crime before become legal, Bud was arrested again in 2015 - this time for trespassing and resisting arrest while breaking into a secure area in the Budweiser brewery. Obviously.

Sources: NY Daily News, CBS St. Louis
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Jackmeoff Mudd


Jackmeoff Mudd is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Real Criminals Who Happen to Have the Most Ironic Names Ever
Photo: mugshots.com

Charged with: Assault, disorderly conduct, resisting an officer, possession of alcohol on the beach, and violating open container laws. 

Last name, Mudd. First name Jackmeoff. Sounds like a second grader trying to be funny and make up a dirty name, right? Nope. This guy had to live as Jackmeoff. No wonder he snapped.

Source: Huffington Post