The Most Regrettable "It's Not A Phase, Mom" That Was Definitely A Phase

From Redditor /u/PowerSkunk92

When I was 16, I kept my hair dyed blue, and kept myself fairly busy earning money to keep buying the hair dye so it would stay that way. One summer, one of our cats, a gray and white one, had to have a leg amputated after being bitten by a snake, and I noticed that the skin beneath the fur was the same color, in the same pattern, as her fur had been.

And it was just enough to pass dumb teenage muster.

So, I shaved my head with the intention of getting my entire scalp tattooed blue, thinking that when my hair grew back in, it would be forever blue. I even found a tattoo guy willing to do the job, but only if an experimental square inch worked.

I'm still blonde, but I do have a tattoo on my scalp that's just a blue square.

My mother was too dumbfounded to say anything. And my stepdad just walked out onto the back porch to stare into the yard for a while. It was never brought up again once it was clear the experiment didn't work.

I never dyed my hair again after that either.

From Redditor /u/SovietBear

I went through a poet phase, and I gave a girl I liked a binder of all my poetry (bad one) and plays (worse than the poetry) called 'The Complete Works".

Last year she emails me out of the blue (22 years later) for my address because she found my cringe book when she was moving and wanted to mail it back to me. I now have my entire catalog of lost self-indulgent regrettable phase creations back in my possession.

From Redditor /u/AxelShoes

I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite ''Autobot''.

My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.

So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me ''Wheeljack''.

From Redditor /u/muddynips

I went through an Eminem phase where I decided to speak more “urban”. It was basically me saying “yo” a lot and making fulsome gestures with my hands. I would work lyrics into my everyday vernacular like “how ELSE do you get to the booty” and “rap god!” Usually they were completely out of context and inappropriate. I called my friends my “peoples”.

I’m cringing into the floor just thinking about it.

From Redditor /u/daevgriin

When I was a teenager (early 00s), I was waiting for my mother to pick me up and was wearing one of those really bad sports wristwatches. It was itching me so I took it off for a second, but then she arrived and because I was struggling to get it back on my wrist, I looped it around the equally bad chain I had around my neck in a rush to get out of the door.

My mom asked me about it in the car, and I told her this was my new style and I planned to wear it like that every day. She rolled her eyes.

I wore that watch on a chain around my neck every single day for 3 years or so. There are even professional family photos where I’m wearing it because I refused to take it off.

One day, the chain broke and I lost the watch. I was in high school at that point anyway and it was a major lady repellent, so... phase over.

From Redditor /u/zensnapple

Early 2000's. I had a trench-coat phase after I saw The Matrix. Turns out a goofy 13-year-old doesn't look or feel as bad*ss in one as Neo does.