Celebrity Trivia 18 Fiendish Tales Of Jack Nicholson's Wild Escapades  

Jacob Shelton
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Aside from being one of the great actors of the 20th century, Jack Nicholson has lived one of the most interesting lives of anyone in Hollywood. His family life was a nightmare, and he survived three crazy decades of smoking weeds, blowing lines, tripping on acid, and breaking hearts. Most Jack Nicholson stories have a two part reaction: first, you recoil at the thought of someone acting so insane; then, you remember the person snorting coke every six takes or cheating on his girlfriend in front of her is Jack Nicholson and you totally get it. These Jack Nicholson true stories aren’t guidelines for how you should live your life, they’re just super cool tales from a bygone era of Hollywood.

Before he was Jack Nicholson, elder statesman of Hollywood, he was Jack Nicholson, bad boy and party animal extraordinaire. He was a guy who kept a trailer on set just for sex, and offered royalty bumps of cocaine. For three decades, there was no off switch for this guy, and that’s what people love about him. Nicholson is one of the last bastions of a time in Hollywood that can never exist again, for better or for worse. Imagine yourself around a campfire while you read these legendary Jack Nicholson drug use stories, and don’t try any of this at home.

He Once Asked Princess Margaret To Ski The Powdery Slopes Of Blowtown With Him

According Can I Go Now?: The Life of Sue Mengers, Hollywood’s First Superagent, a biography of, you guessed it, talent agent Sue Mengers, Jack attended a party Mengers threw in 1979 in honor of Princess Margaret and he did what any nice guy would when he introduced to royalty, suggest they do a bump together. Supposedly, Nicholson approached Queen Elizabeth’s sister and offered her cocaine “in a bid to get to know her better.” She declined. Her loss. 

He Had Two Classifications Of Drugs And Put The Nice Ones On His Meat Missile From Time To Time

 

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Nicholson divided his drugs into two classes, upstairs and downstairs. The latter were run-of-the-mill fare for partygoers and non-esteemed house guests. The former was the good sh*t, reserved for lovers, close friends, and VIP guests. Upstairs drugs also occasionally ended up on Jack's easy rider. 

If biographer Marc Eliot is to be believed, Nicholson's yogurt launcher enjoyed cocaine as much as his nose: “By following what he’d heard about Errol Flynn, he learned that by putting a dab on the tip of his manhood, he could last longer, and, because of the way women reacted to that, he also believed it intensified the sensations for them.”

Roman Polanski's Infamous Alleged Indiscretion Took Place At Jack's House, Where The Drugs Were So Well Hidden Cops Couldn't Find Them

In March 1977, Roman Polanski, who directed Nicholson on Chinatown, was arrested and charged with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under fourteen, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor. The alleged crimes took place at Nicholson's house, where Polanski was photographing 13-year-old Samantha Jane Gailey (now Gaimer) for French Vogue, for which he was guest editor. The pair was discovered by Anjelica Houston, who walked accidentally in on them.  

According to biographer Marc Eliot, Nicholson's house was filled with drugs when police came by to investigate the crime scene. Yet the police discovered nothing. “Fortunately, the rest of Jack’s ample stash of drugs was so well hidden in fake shaving cream containers and the like, that the police missed it.”

He Supposedly Once Screwed A Leggy Blonde On The Hood Of James Caan's Car In The Driveway Of The Playboy Mansion

 

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So this one might not be true, but it's too good to leave out. According to an account from pseudonymous writer Charlie Backer, who kicked around Hollywood in various odd jobs for years, Jack once created a very uncomfortable situation for the valets at the Playboy Mansion, among whom was Backer. So the story goes:

“I was working valet at the mansion. We used to park the nicer cars in the roundabout just for show. At 2 AM Jack comes out with a tall blond girl. She couldn’t have been a day over 25 and they start going at it on top of a 1952 Jaguar Roadster. It wasn’t the kissy-kissy stuff either. They were both drunk. I’m watching this when the owner of the Jag walks up to me. It was James Caan. I thought he was going to kill me for allowing this to happen. Caan was a nice guy but he had a temper. I said, 'Mr. Caan, Shall I go fetch your car.' James Caan looked at me and said, 'Son, you don’t take meat away from a lion when it’s eating. I’ll be in the kitchen.'"