26.9k readers

The Loveable Weirdness of Jeff Goldblum Is Exactly What The World Needs Right Now

Updated April 22, 2020 26.9k views20 items

Jeff Goldblum is weird in the best way. Some part of that weirdness is no doubt a skill that he can turn off and on, but some of his strange mannerisms are so ingrained, it seems like he doesn’t even know he’s being a big beautiful weirdo. Thanks to late-night TV (and his new Disney+ docuseries, where he uncovers the history behind everything from tattoos to ice cream), we have a lot of great instances of Jeff Goldblum being weird. Weird Goldblum stories have been circulating since the '70s, and most of them come from the actor himself. As Goldblum has been known to say, he’s an open-faced sandwich. Time to learn the recipe. 

The best thing about funny Jeff Goldblum stories is that most seem to occur naturally. Judging from the way he chats with interviewers and responds to fan questions, it doesn’t seem like he’s holed up in a Goldblum cave thinking of ways to freak people out. He's just a strange, spontaneous dude. You never know what Goldblum will do.

Through these Jeff Goldblum true stories you’ll learn what he gets up to at weddings, and what he thinks about the sandwich (hint: love is not a strong enough word for Goldblum and sandos). As idiosyncratic as Jeff Goldblum can be, so many great movies wouldn’t be the same without him. Long live the weirdness of Jeff Goldblum.

  • When He Played Piano for Rachel Ray

    Video: YouTube

    It's not weird Jeff Goldblum can play piano, of course he can play piano. The weird thing about this Rachel Ray clip is his turtle-neck-and-leather-jacket combo, and his constant narration. "Isn't that sweet?" No Jeff, you are.

    If you're ever in Los Angeles, check out one of his regular jazz shows
  • When He Told Everyone He Was an Edible Flower

    Photo: Fox Searchlight
    Would it surprise you to learn that Jeff Goldblum's Reddit AMA was a spectacular tapestry of sideways answers more suited to a fortune teller than an actor on a press run? When asked if he knew that a Goldblume was an edible flower he cheekily answered, "I had no idea! So am I! An edible kind of flower."
  • When He Admitted to Being a Sandwich Man

    Photo: General Electric

    Oh you guys, Jeff Goldblum is just the best. During his AMA, when he was asked about his favorite sandwich, he gave insight into his intense love for food. 

    "Oooooooooh. SANDWICH. OH MY GOSH. Oh my gosh. I love sandwiches. When I was a kid, every day I had a bacon lettuce tomato sandwich. Then at some point I switched to tuna fish sandwiches. Then turkey and swiss with russian dressing. Now I try to stay in the healthier vein, but I love every moment of my sandwich life."
  • When He Made Up a Karate Themed Backstory for a Character

    Photo: Towpilot / Creative Commons

    While being interviewed on the set of Independence Day 2, Goldblum was asked how he felt about his character being a pacifist and he immediately launched into an impromptu martial arts-laden story for David Levinson.

    "When I was a kid, [his character's father] sent me—and I think it was new at that time—to martial arts training. I had an athletic and multifaceted capacity for that. And I became very, very, very good. Dangerous, even. I ascended very quickly, along with becoming a piano player and a techno kind of student and master in some ways, until one day something happened in school. A big bully, a troublesome guy, was giving a hard time to somebody. Something unexpectedly emotional and passionate rose up in me. And I put him in the hospital. He almost died." Is it too late for a Jeff Goldblum-starring Karate Kid reboot?