Sometimes, it feels like a**holes can get away with anything. But one subreddit is dedicated to reminding everyone of the "A**hole tax", instances when the universe pays attention to the a**holes and taxes them like instant karma. Vote up the best stories down below!
From Redditor /u/amuckinwa
I own some rural undeveloped acerage that we planned to build on someday, in the meantime we would camp or drive out and spend the day target shooting. The property is WELL posted with No Tresspassing and No Hunting signs. The main access is gated (with an 8 foot metal gate) there are burms, ditches, jersey barriers and logs at any point along the 10 mile stretch of road along where anyone would even consider accessing the property (the neighboring properties have all done the same so basically there is no easy access on a 30 mile length). Even with all that people still cut the logs, move the barriers, fill in the ditches to access the property on their quads and dirt bikes.
Last weekend a couple friends and I decided to go out there and do some short range target shooting (maybe 25 yards). We are maybe 2 miles in the woods and suddenly a guy and his 8-10 year old son come up behind us on dirt bikes and the dude goes off. Yelling at us about shooting and endangering his young child (remember we are shooting shirt range targets we have set up against a hillside so no errant bullets wizzing around and it's MY property that is posted).
I try to explain he is actually tresspassing when he says "b*tch shut up and let the men handle this". My male friend says it's HER property you need to talk to her so once again I try to explain to him he is tresspassing, he tells me to f off and says he is calling the sheriff because we are shooting and we need to stop what we are doing and follow him out to the road to meet the sheriff because the property is gated (no sh*t a**hole I gated it) I said we would not leave but go ahead and call. So, he walked away and called. While he did that I also called and told the sheriff's Dept the gate was unlocked and they could drive in or if they wanted call me when they get close. They said it would be about an hour and they would come to the site.
Now we had probably a dozen rounds already loaded...so we figured wtf, told the Dad we were going to Target shoot and of course he flipped his and called the sheriff again. We fired them and then made sure all the [weapons] were on the table open so the sheriff could see they were empty and sat there talking amongst ourselves while A**hole stood with his son.
Sheriff shows up, and the guy explains how he and his son ride there all the time, describes how he cut some logs and used a small kaboda to make an entrance so they could get in. Shows what direction he came from when he rode up and discovered those dangerous shooters. The officer just let's him talk and writes it all down. Then he comes over to us and I show him my ID and my phone where I have pulled up the tax records to show I am the owner and this fine gentleman does NOT have my permission to be on the property.
The officer goes back over to the man to get some more information for his report, asks if those are the dirt bikes they were riding, guy proudly says yes. Then the officer asks where the helmets are, guy says he doesn't need them on private property. Officer asks if the bikes registrations are current, again guy says they don't need to be on private property. So the officer asks who owns the property and thats when the guy realizes things are not going his way.
So far his A**hole tax has cost him a ticket for no helmet and a double amount ticket for the kid not wearing one, 2 tickets for unregistered bikes. Two tresspassing charges, a [defacing property] charge for the "work" he bragged about to access the property AND he had to PUSH both bikes the 2 miles out to the road, then walk another 3 miles to his truck. Plus whatever the cost is to repair the damage he did making the access and damages for the trail system he created.
If he hadn't have been an a**hole I would have just told him he couldn't ride there and blocked his access.
From Redditor /u/lelied
This is a story about my mother and the a**hole who donated genetic material for my brother and me. They broke up before my younger brother was born, and my mother had to take him to court when he refused to pay child support. He asked for paternity tests, continuations, and delays to the proceedings. There was no doubt about paternity. This asshole's strategy was that for each month of delay before child support was ordered, he would owe less money. Court orders wouldn't be backdated. The child support suit had already been in process while my mother was pregnant, seeking support for me.
Which led to my mother standing in family court three days after giving birth to my brother, alternately waiting through other people's court appearances and going out to the hall to nurse her brand new son. Our father did not show up, and his lawyer requested a continuance (another court date sometime in the future, probably a month or two out).
Mother: "I would rather not have a continuance, your honor."
Judge: "Well, we'll have to get a continuance anyway in order to correct this paperwork. [My brother's name]'s birth date is incorrect. This date would mean that he is three days old."
Mother: "No, that's accurate."
Judge: "What?" (Knowing that it's hard for a nursing baby that young to be away from its food source.) "Where is he?"
Mother: "Out in the hall with his grandmother." (According to her, my brother's crying could be overheard even inside the courtroom.)
Judge, taking a second to gather her thoughts: "Let me get this straight. You gave birth three days ago and showed up. And he couldn't make it to court for no specific reason? He has also failed to submit income statements."
The lawyer tried to make an excuse, but there really wasn't a good reason. My father was just being an a**hole.
Judge: "Okay. What do you estimate his income to be?"
Mother: "I know he earns $6,000 per month normally. I also believe that he acted as a real estate agent in the sale of a home that will get him $50,000 in commission."
Judge: "In that case, I am ordering that he shall pay $10,000 per month in child support until such time that he shows up in court with income statements that support a different decision."
My father called my mother to reach a settlement for child support within the hour. He also showed up punctually to every subsequent court date dealing with custody and the other complications of reproducing with an a**hole. He was forced to pay that first month's $10,000 following the judge's order, though.
From Redditor u/Clickity_clickit:
I was shopping for a new car (which one's me?) a few years ago. I found one online that was selling for $800.
So I go and check the car out with my mechanic buddy. I'm not expecting much, truth be told. An $800 car is, well, an $800 car. I am surprised, however, to find that the $800 car is in pretty good condition. So I ask the seller why it's $800.
"I think there's a transmission problem," he says. "$2000 fix or more." So we take it for a test drive. The car keeps jerking when accelerating. I'm thinking that this could be any number of problems, but afterwards, my mechanic buddy lets me know that he thinks it's something far more trivial than a transmission problem. A ten-minute fix, maybe.
I don't want to be dishonest..., so I say:
"Hey, I don't think it's as bad as you think. I would hate to buy this for such a low price if the problem is more minor than that. Would you mind if my buddy who's a mechanic here takes a look? If it ends up being the transmission or worse, you've got yourself a deal for $800. If it's something minor, you can up the price because I don't wanna cheat you."
The dude explodes. "It's a f*cking $800 car, either you deal with it or you don't! It's AS-IS, do you know what that means, you ***** b*tch? Either you buy the f*cking car or you don't!"
So I do. I pay him $800 in cash and my mechanic buddy pops the hood. He takes off the distributor cap, cleans it, replaces it right then and there. "There you go," he says loudly. "That should fix it. Wow, that transmission looks almost brand-new. I tell you, buying this car for $800 is practically [wild]. You could probably resell this right now for 3 grand."
"Wow," I said, just as loudly. "You know, I could have paid 3 grand for this car if I knew the fix was that easy."
The seller is standing there, the $800 still in-hand, watching. he interrupts. "Hang on a second--"
Before he could even say another word, I closed the hood and unlocked the doors. "Thanks for the car."
"You f*cking cheated me! You're not getting this for only $800--" I'm not sure where he was going with this. Did he expect me to pay him more money now?
Of course not. I opened the driver's side door and got in, rolling down the window. Before I drove off, I smiled at him. "Either you deal with it or you don't. It's AS-IS, do you know what that means, you ***** b*tch?"
And I drove away.
From Redditor /u/who-i-am69
I work at a famous chicken chain that is known for our politeness. At my store we offer free meals to police officers in uniform who eat in the restaurant.
My coworker greeted this customer and asked for his order. He promptly showed what an a** he was by berating her for having to wait in line for all of two minutes. He did it so loudly that three officers eating lunch heard him. He used very foul language and took 4 minutes to do so before placing his order. Strike one for him.
He next showed his a** by camping out in a both and making a mess that I only expect from large families with multiple small children. This included throwing his trash on the floor in plain view of the officers. Strike two.
He then went to his car and started throwing what seemed like an ocean of old fast food wrappers and cigarette buts out of his car into the parking lot. This was strike three for him as this was littering.
All three officers went out and made him clean up his mess and wrote him a ticket. Where I live littering carries a $500 fine and if he contested it the judge could tack on up to 60 hours of community service.
So this guy ended up paying $508 for his lunch.