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14 Reasons Why Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly Shouldn't Be Anyone's Relationship Goals

Updated January 31, 2020 26.5k votes 4k voters 201.9k views14 items

List RulesVote up the ways Jim and Pam are decidedly not #RelationshipGoals.

It appears on many a basic dating app bio: "I'm searching for that Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly relationship." It pops up on countless couple photos: "The Jim to my Pam." Everywhere you turn, fans of The Office happily promote the show's most recognizable pair as their ultimate #RelationshipGoals. But what if we have it all wrong? What if Jim (John Krasinski) and Pam (Jenna Fischer) are the exact opposite of what we should be looking for? What if we're all too blinded by their ordinary, somewhat romantic love story to see the truth? 

While plenty of fans of The Office have come to the conclusion that Jim is the worst, most have yet to realize that Pam is just as bad as her husband. Together, these two create an up-and-down relationship with plenty of annoying moments and not a lot of stability. Jim falls short when compared to other fictional husbands, and his relationship with Pam often includes a lot more toxicity than genuine happiness.

Jim and Pam commit to their relationship, make it through some tough times, and end the show happy and ready to move forward - that's true - but the simple fact that they stay together doesn't mean they're the archetype of a good relationship. 

  • 5

    After Turning Him Down, Pam Interferes In Jim's Relationship With Karen

    Photo: The Office / NBC

    After Pam tells Jim she's going to marry Roy, Jim transfers to the Stamford branch of Dunder Mifflin. There, he meets his next girlfriend, Karen. Through a series of unfortunate events, the Stamford branch closes and Jim and Karen both transfer to the Scranton branch. Both Jim and Pam still harbor feelings for each other, which complicates things between Jim and his new girlfriend. Still, Pam does her best to move forward (or back, as she gets back together with Roy for a time). However, her grand plan to let Jim go fails miserably. 

    During the beach day, while Jim is still with Karen, Pam publicly confesses to him that she called off her wedding because of him. Her confession puts another strain on his new relationship, eventually causing Jim to break up with Karen. Despite being the reason that they didn't date months earlier, Pam still interferes with and ruins Jim's new romance.

    Sign of a bad relationship?
  • 6

    Pam Makes Herself Emotionally Available To Jim When She's In Another Relationship

    Photo: The Office / NBC

    At the start of The Office, Jim and Pam are just friends. However, it's obvious to everyone who witnesses their relationship that Jim is hopelessly in love with his coworker. Unfortunately, Pam is also engaged to someone else - the disinterested warehouse worker Roy. 

    Despite her status as a soon-to-be-married woman, Pam spends all her time with Jim. She claims that Jim is her "best friend," but her coworkers often accuse her of flirting with the office prankster. The two consistently share longing stares with lots of unspoken feelings in them before one person grows uncomfortable and breaks away. In addition, Pam drunkenly kisses Jim on the mouth after receiving a Dundie Award that wasn't for "Longest Engagement." 

    Though she's engaged to Roy, Pam shares most of her daily ups and downs with Jim. She confides in Jim far more than her fiancé and then wonders why Roy doesn't pay her as much attention as Jim does. Instead of investing in her future marriage or ending that relationship, Pam starts her relationship with Jim by emotionally cheating on her fiancé with another man. 

    Sign of a bad relationship?
  • 7

    Jim Kisses Pam While She's Still Engaged

    Photo: The Office / NBC

    Even though Pam carries on an emotional relationship with Jim, Jim also violates the boundaries of her partnership with Roy, particularly when he kisses her at Casino Night. After flirting with her for months and trying on more than one occasion to confess his feelings for her, such as the teapot fiasco, Jim decides to make an unprompted move on his engaged coworker.

    Jim first bombards Pam with an "I'm in love with you." When Pam reacts poorly and tells him she can't be with him, Jim responds by trying again. While Pam is on the phone with her mom trying to download her feelings, Jim interrupts her conversation and kisses her.

    This first kiss happens after Pam a) already turned Jim down and b) is clearly in an emotional place. It's not exactly the right time to make an informed decision about their relationship, and Pam responds by telling Jim she's going to marry Roy. 

    Sign of a bad relationship?
  • 8

    Jim Buys A House Without Telling Pam

    Photo: The Office / NBC

    Being in a relationship means making decisions together, right? According to Jim, that's not the case. After he and Pam get engaged, Jim proceeds to buy his parents' house without asking his fiancée.

    When Jim reveals to Pam that he bought the house, she looks wholly unimpressed. She walks through the place without saying anything, looking overwhelmed and disappointed in her new home. Eventually, Pam tells Jim that she loves the place, but her initial reaction makes the statement fairly unconvincing. 

    What's worse, Jim knows that it's probably the wrong decision to buy the house without telling his future life partner, but he does it anyway. After the paperwork is all done, he tells Pam that he knows it's a lot, that the house isn't in great condition, and that he should have asked her. If he knew that, why didn't he? 

    Sign of a bad relationship?