With four seasons of HBO's "Game of Thrones" in the can, Joffrey Baratheon still sits as King on the Iron Throne and continues to threaten to impart his wrath on, well, anyone who makes widdle Joffrey angry. The paternity of King "Baratheon", of course, continues to fall under scrutiny as the notion that "Joffrey Lannister" is the correct name for the mean little bastard who would appear to be the unfortunate, weasely product of incest between Queen Cersei Lannister and her brother, Jaime.
It isn't easy to rise to the position of "Most Detestable Character on Game of Thrones"; we're talking about a show where the pilot episode featured the heroic protagonist executing an innocent man. (Plus, he insisted his wife raise his bastard son conceived by another woman, and kept the only son of his vanquished foe working around the house as a slave. But hey, he loves wolves, so it's all good!)Still, Joffrey manages it with a mix of pluck, looking astonishingly like the guy who plays Draco Malfoy, and of course, petulance. He approaches ruling Westeros the way any angry, twisted, in-bred, evil blonde pre-teen who's been trained to be insufferable since the womb would: blind malice and hateful rage. Go through the list and vote for what YOU think are Joffrey's most deliriously villainous moments from "Game of Thrones" and keep in mind that there are myriad more despicable Joffrey moments to come.
Joffrey the Music Critic
"Tell me, do you favor your fingers or your tongue?" Joffrey poses the question to a tavern bard who has devised a popular new song about the death of King Robert, and has been asked to reprise it at court. It includes charming references to a "lion" ripping off the fallen King's balls. (The lion symbolizing the House of Lannister, of course, with the balls representing... well, that part's pretty self-explanatory.) It's not a super-flattering song.Joffrey calls the song "funny" and thanks the bard for the performance, just before asking him whether he'd rather keep his fingers or his tongue. The singer chooses his fingers, and Joffrey complies, ordering his tongue removed instead. ("Hey, he gave the guy a choice! That's not so bad!" -- George R. R. Martin's brain.) He then leaves for the day, suggesting his Mom should finish up the rest of the Kingly-type work for the afternoon. I mean, sure, fine, as long as all the important tongue-slashings have been taken care of...
Forcing Ser Dontos to Drink His Fill
In Season 2, we learn about the ritual of a King's "Name Day," which is sort of like a birthday for brutally evil tweens. To celebrate, Joffrey has arranged for some light fighting to the death at King's Landing. One of the unlucky men chosen for the afternoon's entertainment is Ser Dontos, the only surviving member of House Hollard. Unlucky both because Joffrey is not the most appreciative host, and because he happens to be drunk at the time.
Joffrey takes Ser Dontos' intoxication as an insult, and pretends to graciously offer the man more wine before ordering that he have wine poured into his stomach until he bursts. Cause what does Joffrey care about wasting all that wine? He's like 12. Just keep Ser Dantos away from the juice boxes and we should be fine.Sansa puts a stop to the madness by insisting that it's bad luck for Joffrey to order someone killed on his Name Day. Also, you shouldn't get Joffrey wet or feed him after midnight. Those are the rules. Which means, if you think about it, Ser Dontos ended up basically copping a wicked buzz for free. Not bad...
Fleeing During the Battle of the Blackwater
With wildfire mastermind Tyrion already leading the charge in defense of Kings Landing, protective mommy Cersei comes out and pulls Joffrey from the wall (not even the front lines) and back into the safety of the castle during the Battle of the Blackwater, an act which demoralized the men and left his Uncle- then the Hand of the King- to take care of business.P*ssy.
Joffrey Has It Out With Cersei
Joffrey, newly coronated, has heard the gossip about the... rather murky circumstances of his birth. So naturally, he goes to his mother, Cersei, with his concerns, and to find out the truth. Because when you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you end up in a slapfight with your adolescent son in a still-under-construction throne room.
Joffrey and Cersei have a tense back-and-forth, in which he taunts his mother with the (perfectly true) rumors about King Robert fathering bastards throughout the kingdom. (When you consider his age, size and the fact that most of his meals were basically hog fat in a goblet, it's pretty amazing King Robert had the endurance to father this many children. No wonder they made him king.) Then she hits him, which may be the first thing she's done in the series to date that wins her points with the viewers at home.Joffrey notes that his mother's actions are "punishable by death," but actually DOESN'T have her arrested and beheaded. This time. But he hasn't ruled out the whole "fill her full of wine on my next Name Day" plan. Let's play it as it comes.