Jon-isms: Funny Jon Stewart Quotes

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Updated June 9, 2017 416 votes 51 voters

Jon Stewart once said 'Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.' Taking inspiration from this Jon Stewart quote, we can now have a list of all Jon Stewart quotes, gaffes and other Jon-isms. Read all the funny Jon Stewart quotes from the host of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart.

While some think Stewart is hilarious, others feel Stewart laughs at his own jokes, always, without fail and without reason. Nevertheless, Jon Stewart has never missed to come up with his dumb and funny gaffes, on and off the show. The classic Jon Stewart bloopers and gaffes are abundant and reading through this list is a fool-proof stress-buster.

As host of The Daily Show, Stewart is paid to talk politics, including pointing out the gaffes and funny quotes of others. Lucky for him, he had plenty of readily available material at his disposal with President Bush in office. Between Bush talking about war and Vice President Cheney going to war with a hunting buddy, Stewart had no shortage of topics on which to comment.

Bush and Cheney may be gone from office, but the quotes about them from Jon Stewart will live on forever.
  • 1
    20 VOTES

    Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

    "Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."
    20 votes
  • 2
    13 VOTES

    Terrorism and Gay People

    "That's what terrorism and gay people are for."

    --In response to a clip of President Bush stating, "America needs to conduct this debate on immigration in a reasoned and respectful tone...We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger or playing on anyone's fears."
    13 votes
  • 3
    12 VOTES

    A Woman Who Forgets Her Own Husband

    "Julie Christie was absolutely amazing in 'Away From Her.' Brilliant movie. It was the moving story of a woman who forgets her own husband. Hillary Clinton calls it the feel good movie of the year."
    12 votes
  • 4
    12 VOTES

    A Modern-Day, Beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah

    "A lot of people say that this town is too liberal, out of touch with mainstream America, an atheistic pleasure dome, a modern-day, beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah, a moral black hole where innocence is obliterated in an endless orgy of sexual gratification and greed. I don't really have a joke here. I just thought you should know a lot of people are saying that."

    --On Hollywood, California
    12 votes
  • 5
    11 VOTES

    Thomas Jefferson or Hermann Goering?

    "Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot."

    --While hosting the Peabody Awards
    11 votes
  • 6
    11 VOTES

    John Ashcroft Bid Farewell

    "Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office."
    11 votes