Reddit user u/Wiggle_it_loose tells a story of a Karen who thought he was an employee at the supermarket. What follows is a detailed account of the conversation, in which he did not hold back the truth. Read the full story below!
(NOTE: The story was edited due to length. Please click here for the full story and responses.)
Our Narrator Tells Us She Might Have A "Retail" Face
"I'm telling you about one event but I must have a "retail" face because I'm approached so often. I wear a suit at work. When I call in at any shop on the way home I leave my jacket in the car so I'm just wearing a shirt and tie. I couldn't tell you how many times people assume I am staff.
If they're civil, I'm civil.
If they're struggling, I'm helpful.
If they're rude, I have fun.
The reason I remember this one is because I've said all of these things separately before but this was the first time I got them all squeezed into one single interaction. It just went so perfectly. It will never happen again."
He Sees Her Being Rude To Another Customer
"I had called in to a large supermarket to pick up birthday candles.
I first saw the woman being very rude to another customer for no apparent reason...She was just impatient and the other customer wasn't moving fast enough for her liking so she was insulting her. She definitely ranked above a**hole so let's call her Douchebagette or DB for short.
As she turned I saw the "rocket lock" in her eyes as she spotted me. She galumphed her way over. I decided to enjoy it and settled on being deadpan literal as a plan. I looked away."
Karen Starts Talking To Our Narrator And Mistakes Them For An Employee
"DB: Excuse me!!
Me: Why, what have you done?
She paused for a second looking like a dog that had been shown a card trick. Then angrily asked:-
DB: Can you help me?
Me: I couldn't possibly know. I don't know what you want.
She makes a Tucker Carlson face."
We Find Out Karen Wants Eyelash Curlers
"DB: Where do you keep your eyelash curlers?
Me: I don't keep them anywhere.
DB: Yes, you do. I've seen them before.
Me: I'm certain I don't. I've never owned any. My eyelashes manage to bend all on their own. I'm more than happy with the bendiness of my eyelashes.
DB: Huh? What? No, idiot, I mean the shop. Where in the shop are the eyelash curlers?
Me: I haven't got a clue.
DB: Why not?
Me: I refer you to my previous answer. I never use them.
DB: Aargh! Are you trying to be stupid?
Me: No, it's effortless.
DB: This is insane! Are you going to find out where the eyelash curlers are, or would you prefer that I speak to your manager?
Me: I'd say neither but if I had to choose I'd go for option (b)"