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Dale Gribble's Craziest Conspiracy Theories on King of the Hill  

Erik Barnes
4.5k votes 1k voters 293.6k views 12 items

List Rules Vote up the most unhinged of Dale's King of the Hill conspiracy theories.

Dale Gribble has espoused conspiracy theories on King of the Hill since the first episode of the animated series. Hank's best friend and the most paranoid crackpot in Arlen, Texas has a lot of distrust of the federal government and virtually any institution or living creature. Despite his paranoia, however, Dale is unable to grasp even the most obvious facts, such as his wife Nancy's ongoing affair with local stud John Redcorn.

Even when you think you've heard all of the Dale conspiracy theories, he comes up with another elaborate, totally unfounded notion to add to the theory pile.

Check out this list and vote up your favorite Dale Gribble conspiracy theories on King of the Hill.
1
Fidel Castro Stole Dale's Lawnmower to Make a Submarine
Fidel Castro Stole Dale's ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Dale Gribble's Craziest Conspiracy Theories on King of the Hill
Photo: 20th Century Fox

In "Dog Dale Afternoon," Hank and the guys play a prank on Gribble by stealing his precious riding lawn mower. Things take a turn when Dale's ultra-paranoia expands into super-ultra-paranoia. It gets so out of control that Dale truly believes Cuban communists are involved in the theft of his beloved mower.

"I'd like to live in your fairy-tale world, Hank," Dale explains, "but the Fair Play For Cuba Committee is retrofitting my mower to power Fidel's one-man escape sub."
Is this crazy?
2
Dale Is Not Dale, But Is Instead a Clone From the Future
Dale Is Not Dale, But Is Inste... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Dale Gribble's Craziest Conspiracy Theories on King of the Hill
Photo: 20th Century Fox

In the episode "The Incredible Hank," Dale shares this gem with his friends:

"So it turns out I'm not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him. The original Dale Gribble is a super-warrior from the year 2087. The second me, i.e. I, was created to help the first me fight the invading Mongol armies."

The testosterone-fueled Hank tears down Dale's claim, using a punch to the arm as an exclamation point.
Is this crazy?
3
Peanut Allergies Are the Result of Peanuts Fighting Back Against Humanity
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Video: YouTube

With peanut allergies becoming increasingly common, Dale shares his theory on the phenomenon in "Naked Ambition." In his paranoid, needlessly complex estimation, peanuts have evolved and developed a defense mechanism to prevent themselves from being safely eaten.

The war between man and peanut has begun.

 
Is this crazy?
4
Fire Ants Murdered L. Ron Hubbard
Fire Ants Murdered L. Ron Hubb... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Dale Gribble's Craziest Conspiracy Theories on King of the Hill
Photo: 20th Century Fox

In "King of the Ant Hill," Dale calmly shares what he believes really killed the notorious author of Dianetics and founder of Scientology. Fire ants aren't just a nuisance, but a group of organized murderers!

"These fire ants are well-organized, highly trained insects," he says. "They'll swarm all over you and sting you all at once without warning on a single command. It's how they killed L. Ron Hubbard."
Is this crazy?