Kingsman: The Secret Service is not just one of the best non-Bond Bond films. Kingsman is better than James Bond. All James Bond. Every movie, every actor, every gadget, every villain. It's a bold claim, but it must be written. Before you go Twitter-raging, keep in mind this list was written by someone raised on Bond from childhood. Who isn't intoxicated by vodka martinis, gadgets, cool cars and a bevvy of beautiful woman? After 55 years in the spy game, Mr. Bond has aged surprisingly well.
In 2017, Kingsman is flat out cooler. If you've seen the film, you know why Kingsman: The Secret Service is awesome. It's one of the best spy movies in years and, like other Matthew Vaughn movies, gleefully stretches the genre without breaking it. Time will tell whether the sequel can keep the franchise going.
Here's a list of SPOILER-FILLED ways The Kingsman is a faster, sleeker spy vehicle than Bond. Rank away.
The Church Scene
In Kingsman's wonderfully violent church scene, Colin Firth's Galahad goes ballistic on a congregation of white supremacists, slaughtering 40 of them in three minutes. It's one of the most insane set pieces ever filmed, and makes you wish Lynyrd Skynrd's "Freebird" had an even longer guitar solo.
In all of the Bond films, not one scene comes even close to the adrenaline and mania of this bloodbath.
Colin Firth Is The Best Actor To Ever Play Bond, And He Isn't Even Bond
"Dave Gibbons: I think he’s a great secret agent. Perhaps he’s the James Bond that never was but should have been – but now he gets to do all that cool James Bond stuff anyway. I think there’s a nice backstory to it as well that makes him even more of a hero.
Mark Millar: The weirdest thing is, I think if he had gotten that Bond gig ten years ago, he’d have been bored – because this [Kingsman] is cool. James Bond cries in the shower now in these movies but [Firth] gets to do cool stuff – like firing these gadgets and all this stuff. I think he got the best gig in the end."
Pound For Pound, The Action Scenes Are Better
Of course, James Bond has its share of remarkable action scenes. The opening of The Spy Who Loved Me is just about perfect, if you ignore the green screen close ups of Roger Moore. However, the series also has Moonraker's ridiculous laser fight scene in space, and Die Another Day's tsunami surfing. If Kingsman makes more than 20 sequels, there will probably be an equally absurd space shoot-out at some point.
(Writer's Note: As a little kid, Moonraker was my first Bond film. My dad - the biggest Bond fan ever - told me it was just like Star Wars. It wasn't... but I still loved it.)
'Kingsman' > 'Dr. No'
Dr. No, the first Bond film, launch 23 sequels (25 if you count Never Say Never Again and the original, almost unwatchable Casino Royale). And it gave us Ursula Andress in a bikini, the bathing suit which launched a million puberties.
But the truth is, Dr. No hasn't aged ee well. Zina Hutton did an extended breakdown/take-down of the film at marysue.com. From the lily-white casting of an Asian character to James Bond basically forcing himself on a woman to his poor choice of hat, it remains a good spy yarn inside a dated body.
Fifty years from now, it's possible Kingsman will feel even more dated. For now, it launched an entire franchise with panache and style to spare.