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Last Vegas Movie Quotes

Updated November 6, 2017 189 votes 71 voters 44.9k views10 items

"Last Vegas" movie quotes tell the tale of what happens when old friends head to Sin City for one last adventure. The comedy film was written by Dan Fogelman and directed by Jon Turteltaub. "Last Vegas" opened in theaters in the United States on November 1, 2013.

In "Last Vegas," Billy (Michael Douglas) is the last single guy amongst a group of four lifelong friends now in their 60s. This is about to change however when Billy plans to marry, albeit to a girl half his age. He shares the news with Sam (Kevin Kline) and Archie (Morgan Freeman) at which time Sam suggests they all head to Las Vegas for one last party. To complete the quartet, Sam invites Paddy (Robert De Niro), who despite having unresolved issues with Billy, reluctantly goes along.

What follows is the hilarity as the four sixth-somethings party like it's 1959 in Las Vegas complete with hangovers, little comprehension of what's currently hip and a bunch of other old man stuff. While they try their best to enjoy the adventure, they also must work out the underlying issues that tore them apart in the past before it's too late.

"Last Vegas" hits theaters which are already buzzing with other top films such as "Ender's Game, "The Counselor," "Bad Grandpa," "Escape Plan," "The Fifth Estate," "Captain Phillips," "Gravity," "Machete Kills," "Runner Runner," "Don Jon," "Rush, "Prisoners,", "Enough Said," "The Family," and "Riddick,".
  • 1

    Vodka Red Bulls

    Video: YouTube

    Archie: "Boy these vodka Red Bulls are strange. I feel like I'm getting drunk and electrocuted at the same time! The music, it's loud! It's like everything sounds alike, like they're playing the same song over and over and over again. I probably should get up and dance but I'm used to having a partner. It doesn't seem to matter to that fella. Maybe I'll give it a shot. Maybe not. I hope they play something different. Maybe now."

    As one might imagine Morgan Freeman drunk would be, Archie has a few too many vodka Red Bulls and hilariously talks about dancing, which he then proceeds to attempt.
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  • 2

    50 Cent

    Photo: flickr / CC0

    Lonnie: "You know who is supposed to be staying here this weekend? Fitty."
    Sam: "P. Diddy?"
    Lonnie: "No, 50"
    Archie: "Fifty people in here?"
    Lonnie: "50 Cent, 50, Curtis Jackson, he's a rapper."
    Sam: "Oh, oh, oh, yeah, from the Jackson 5."

    Showing how they are clearly not hip with popular music, the guys struggle to understand that rapper 50 Cent had rented out the VIP suite for the weekend.
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  • 3

    No, Cold

    Video: YouTube

    Archie: "Ezra!"
    Ezra: "You going to get out of bed?"
    Archie: "No, cold… cold"
    Ezra: "Pop, it's uh, it's sweltering in here."
    Archie: "Is it?"
    Ezra: "Listen, maybe I should, uh, stay home today."
    Archie: "No, you don't have to do that."

    Much like a teenager, Archie fakes being sick to throw his son off and allow him to sneak out. The plan works but jumping out the window is another story.
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  • 4

    I'm Getting Married!

    Video: YouTube

    Billy: "How you feeling, Arch?"
    Archie: "I'm just sitting here watching this Housewives thing. Horrible people, horrible!"
    Sam: "Hey, Arch!"
    Archie: "Hey, Sam!"
    Billy: "Listen, guys, I've got something important here, all right."
    Sam: "Heart or cancer?"
    Archie: "Prostate, what?"
    Billy: "Why every time the phone rings you think someone's dying?"
    Sam: "I live in Florida now. Usually when the phone rings someone is dying."
    Billy: "I'm getting married."
    Sam: "So we're going to have a bachelor party in Vegas."
    Billy: "Are you serious?"
    Archie: "I can't smoke, drink, eat salt or stay out past nine but…"
    Billy: "All right! I love it!"

    Billy calls his old pals Sam and Archie to announce that he's getting married. Sam instantly suggests a bachelor party in Las Vegas, which sounds like fun to Billy, or at least as much fun as old men can have.
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