Another year is upon us, another iPhone has been introduced, complete with a set of useless Apple iPhone 7 features. It's unfair to say the new iPhone sucks (since it isn't out yet, and obviously we're all going to get one, no matter how many workers in China tried to commit suicide or laborers in the Democratic Republic of Congo broke their backs digging through filth to make it). While it may be unjust to write the iPhone 7 off, there are a number of dumb additions to the gadget that range from unnecessary to unwanted.
So what are the least exciting iPhone 7 features? Well, there are two shades of black. Because that's necessary. The headphone jack is gone but the phone comes with lightning jack headphones, so you can't charge the phone while you have the headphones in, and the compatible wireless headphones will probably be incredulously expensive.
What else? Read on for a list of new iPhone 7 capabilities no one cares about. Or, maybe you do care about them, because you care enough to hate how dumb they are. Or maybe you belong to the cult of Jobs and worship the man like a messiah. The great visionary of the millennium, the man who made you a slave to your phone, available 24/7 via email and text and lashed in social bondage to Instagram and Facebook.
Anyway, you get the point. It's a phone and there's some very unexciting stuff about it. Vote up the least exciting new features on the iPhone 7.